I think my husband can't handle the truth

I may have shared too much information in regards to my mental health to my spouse. I think he's having a difficult time coping with the fact that I have the issues I do such as paranoid thoughts. Also, Im concern the combo of his health problems an managing my issues is overwhelming to him. I rely solely on him for support. I dont have money for therapy and have no friends or family. I just want to run away. I feel I'm destroying his life.

I think it’s easy to overload of spouses , I know I did when first diagnosed age 43.

I was able to see a therapist through a sliding scale at my county’s mental health clinic, most every county has one.

Anyway I stopped unloading on my husband. Could my husband understand my Bipolar? Hell no . I also found PC and was able to get support from others that are dealing with the same.

Now ? I tell my husband if I’m just not doing well but I don’t allow Bipolar to take over my marriage any more than it really has too.

You will find a lot of support on all kinds of forums that fit your needs.

Good wishes

I wish for you and your husband to be well, "Imnotaturtle." If I may say so, I also like your username... I also like turtles!

Would you be so kind as to explain why you are of the opinion that your husband "is having a difficult time coping?"

You seem to be being too harsh on yourself. You and your husband also seem to have a relationship that also consists of him as your support team (and vice versa,) which is magnificent. If you are attempting to find additional support, this forum and website seem to be most accommodating and supportive as Christina typed. I came here for support as well and found this community to be incredibly kind and supportive.

Do you have transportation?

I haven't gone to one myself because I have access to therapy but if I ever lose my benefits (I only get VA benefits when my income is low, I have disability until April), I am planning on attending a NAMI Support group. They also offer some Peer to Peer and Family to Family classes for free. NAMI is an organization that supports and advocates for people who are mentally ill.

https://www.nami.org/Local-NAMI/Prog...e-ad0868acd481

When I told my husband some of my paranoid thoughts it really hurt his feelings. He was so disappointed that after our long marriage that, "I didn't really know him; that I did not know that he is a good person." Only after telling him what I was really imagining about him did I realize how ridiculous some of the thoughts were. We can let our imaginations carry us away if we don't talk about it. PC is a good place to talk about things. Though sometimes it has reinforced my paranoid thoughts but that has been OK because I can look back at those posts and see how I get. If you jounal or post here--you start seeing patterns in your behavior. It has helped me see when I am getting more mentally ill. Sometimes sharing with our spouses does make them worry but when they know that we are being effected by a mental illness, it does help explain some of our behaviors.

Have you been diagnosed with a mental illness?

It sounds like you are struggling financially which is very stressful. I think stress can "activate" our mental illness issues.

You can make friends here. Keep posting and you may make some connections that make you feel less isolated.

Though I have a part time job, I also have relied on my husband for support. I encourage you to look for/try some jobs. It may take time to find something but it feels good to make your own money.