[dragonphoto]

So I was sitting here thinking what am I, am I a father, am I a husband, am I a friend? I know that I am all of these things, and I know that is very important to be all of these things. I try really hard to make sure my family is taken care of and in the process I neglected my wife. I neglected her emotions, her compassion and her love. Now I am stuck, I am not sure if I can convince her that I do love her and do respect her. I have been writing poems in an attempt to quell the desire to run right home and tell her I am staying but it is getting hard the words are not flowing like they were before. I want to be with my family, but I also want my wife to want me. I am scared, terrified actually. I think I am losing the best thing in my life and I have no grasp on it whatsoever. I have given up the reins of control and just let go. This has been very hard for me. I know a lot of people are sick about me going on about my wife and to anyone that is I am sorry for the sugar sickness. It is just that I have made a life with the one person that completes me, the one person that understands me, and the one person that cares about me. I have hurt her bad and I am very very sorry about that. I wish I could take back the things that I said and did, but it is not an option. The only thing I can do now is try and show her that I am that different person. I must keep sending love to her the best way that I know how, through my written words. Forward...forward...forward.

You are doing fine sweetie, just fine, no apologies, we all say what we feel

Jin xx

[TYMBERWOLV]

dragon,

I understand the frustration but please listen to what i'm going to tell you... Your wife already loves you ... You know that deep down inside ...

what she doesnt like is the person whom u became ...

ok here is the trick .... if u are going to change .... change because u want to change never ever change for anyone else ....

As i have told you before Let Go Let God ... all things will come in his timing ... i will lend my ear and thoughts to you .. just ask ...

Dave

[SeptemberMorn]

Dragon, I only wish my husband would come to half the realizations you have come to!

Have you followed up your words with actions? Words are wonderful, but they're only proven to be true with the action that follows them. That is the proof of the pudding.

If you are still on friendly terms with your wife, court her again and prove to you and to her that you have seen the error of your ways.

When you talk, validate her feelings. SHOW her you understand what she said, not with words only but with actions. But don't push yourself on her. Give her her space, time to think over what was said and done while in your presence.

But like Tymber said, do it for YOU. Let your changes become YOU. Otherwise your wife will know that it's a fake front you're putting up. Women need honesty, sincerety and to know that it comes straight from your heart. Your behavior needs to reflect your true feelings for her.

I wish you the best!

[dragonphoto]

All the changes I have made I made for myself, I was in a very dark place three months ago and I don't want to ever go back. As to the actions last Saturday I kneeled at her bed and rubbed her feet (with lotion and all). She told me you don't have to do that. I told her I know I don't have to, but I want to.

[sabby]

Dragon...you have done some difficult and wonderful work on yourself. I know you are excited about the changes you have made and you want so much to prove too your wife how different you are. I think that is totally awesome.

Septi hit on some things that I've said before in a post to you....it will take action and time for your wife to work through her issues with you. Your words are wonderful....now your actions, over a period of time will be the defining part of all this.

No one is tired of your postings. We have seen you work through your issues with such love and respect for yourself and your family. Those are great things for others to read and see and to support you as well.

The other side to all this is obviously your wife. I'm praying that she still loves you and is gun shy at the moment. But, the reality could also be that she isn't in a spot right now to accept you yet. I think it's important for you to be prepared for the long haul. Sometimes folks just can't let things go quickly...it takes them time and it takes our patience and consistancy to help them feel trust once again.

You and your family are in my prayers Dragon. Well wishes for strength, patience and compassion for not only your wife, but yourself as well.

Hugss
sabby

[dragonphoto]

Sorry I was really down on myself yesterday. Once I got a good nights sleep I felt much better than I did before. Things are looking up for me it is just a matter of using actions. Something I have tried to do but I am not sure what type of actions I should use. Never before have I felt a clarity of thinking, or being able to stand tall without the weight of the world crushing down on my shoulders. So today is "A new day, a new Dragon." Thank you for all the support you are all loved by me.

[sabby]

(((((((((((((((((( dragon )))))))))))))))))))))


sabby