[Ljj7000]

Just about two days ago, I was working at my retail job and a random customer told me I was shy. At the moment it happened, I tried to brush it off like it was nothing. But those words struck a spot inside. I "kinda" internalized it instead of letting it go.

I noticed this from more extroverted people. Extroverted people have a tendency to point out an introvert's shyness or other social aspects.

Is this something you have to put up with on a daily basis?

[Skeezyks]

Well... nowadays I just keep to myself. So there's no opportunity for this sort of thing to occur. I wouldn't say this is something I ever had to put up with on a daily basis in the past either. But it is something that was brought up to me from time-to-time over the years by different people. It always made me squirm a bit & feel self-conscious. For some reason I was always uncomfortable having people point things out about me.

[mortalache]

Oh definitely. It's upsetting to me when people automatically assume since I'm quiet that it must mean I'm very shy, when the truth is I'm just quiet, period. My social anxiety was nothing before people started teasing me in school for being so quiet. I began to seriously think I was really broken for just having a quiet nature and not feeling the need to speak or make my thoughts totally known the moment they come to mind. I worried about how to change this-how to talk more, but that made it worse because I'd say something I'd feel embarrassed about later on and would ruminate on the whole ordeal.

Anyway...Not so much on a daily basis anymore, but when I am given trouble about my quietness it does not weaken me the way it used to.

[Loose Screw x 2]

When people say that to me now I just smile a little and I may say "What makes you think that?" or maybe I don't say anything at all and just think "Oh, if you only knew what I'm really like?".
If I'm feeling playful I may even say something like
"Once you get to know me I'm really crazy."

I am shy in lots of situations but have never experienced this.

[Shazerac]

I used to get that a lot when someone encountered me when I wasn’t manic. If they had they would have been thinking “oh my god...does she EVER shut up?”

Now when someone says that to me I just say “I’m not shy! I just don’t have anything to say to you.” that usually shuts them up.

[eskielover]

It never botheted me. I was quirt becsuse I dodn't want to open my mouth & sound stupid like my dad & I must have felt too stressed to even think on the fly like some other kids in school....so kept quiet & it didn't bother me when people said something.

The strange thing for me is that I left the stressful life I had married into right after living all my young life in a stressful environment I started speaking out & I could all of a sudden respond on the fly. I am wondering just how much of me was really surpressed all my life

It happened when I was younger, often it was people trying to 'bring me out of my shell' which is quite insulting as I was happy as I was.

I never did find a good way to respond, but when it's in your job and it's a customer or colleague it's doubly awkward, you have to let a lot go.

[ShadowGX]

Hate it? Eh, it depends. It bothers me if it's strangers and sometimes family, but most of the time I just shrug it off. Yes, I'm introverted, and it's best for me to be honest about that because I don't do well in certain situations because it will overwhelm me and I'll do stupid things to try to get away.

[Biteplate]

I used to get that pointed out a lot and I honestly think its rude. How would extroverts feel if we started calling them out as loud mouths or something. There's nothing wrong with not talking 24/7.

[Emotionally Dead]

I don't really have that problem too much, but I would find it a rude thing to say. However, if it's something you don't personally have a problem with then I would try not to get offended by it. Hard to offend someone when they are happy with whatever "flaw" someone thinks they are pointing out. For instance, I speak my mind and rarely hold anything back. Some people would find that flawed, but if anyone ever told me that I would just laugh and say "Sorry, it's who I am. Deal with it." We should never have to change for anyone else, we should only change if we, ourselves, have a problem with something we do or something in our life. Just my two cents.

[Loose Screw x 2]

Originally Posted by Biteplate

I used to get that pointed out a lot and I honestly think its rude. How would extroverts feel if we started calling them out as loud mouths or something. There's nothing wrong with not talking 24/7.

That would be so much fun! "Hey, loud mouth! Quit fooling around and get your arse over here with the rest of us!"

[Fuzzybear]

To the OP

I know exactly what you mean

I think it’s rude and rather stupid when people point out how “shy” or “quiet” we are..

(I don’t usually tell them how “boring” “loud” “up themselves” etc. They are....)



PS “I’m not shy. I just don’t have anything to say to you” I like that unfortunately it can’t usually be used in “work” type situations

[Candy1955]

I tell people I have a headache...