discussion point about what really matters for women in choosing partners

There is a foundational core belief that for me is non-negotiable that for me only a feeling of love & respect can grow out of.

I need someone who is very capable of communicating & just having the same level of education was proved not to guarantee that (33 years of dealing with that) but in most normal cases this can help.

Honestly I think like seesaw, if they are hard workers no matter what the field & at this point in my life though I am at retirement age.....but it wiukd have to be someone as active in retirement as I am....& at this point....NO DRAMA allowed. Anyone bringing drama into my life & I'm outta there.

I have established my own peacwful life over my last 11 years not living with my H 2100 miles away on my awesome little farm retreat. Not about to give that up & could never live in the city again...so someone would have to be very awesome to ever pull me away from this life I have established after 33 years in a bad marriage.

You could always pull someone to you

They would have to prove themself worthy of that also. Not willing to disrupt my peaceful place finding out. Actually most people around here own their own farms & have their own peaceful environments established. BUT hey....who knows what tomorrow holds. Need to get the divorce finalized finally & all the mess he has created sirted out in court so honestly wouldn't be anxious to get back into anything that could create a mess in my life ever again.

Oddly enough, keep it up & maybe something good will happen has been a recurring mantra of my existence. Doesn't always work (or work quickly enough), but it's preferable to giving up.

I think that the only thing that depression did make me feel motivated/passionate about was to learn more about it & so attempt to avoid it's demotivating effects! However, what I'm trying to say is that whilst depression has reduced my ability to demonstrate motivation/passion at times, it hasn't removed them - they're still there & in the right situations/company can still emerge.

Sometimes depression can be situational & getting out if the situation improves ir removes the depression.....for me it was being trapped financially in a bad marriage for the last 13 years of the 33 I was married & living with him. Syevivibg through that (which was a miracle) gave me much better insight as to what I would be or would not be willing to tolerate in any future possible partner.

Hey worriedfear,
I don't know where this question is coming from but this is like one of those psychological questions. Not every women are the same just like not every men are same. Specially nowadays when women are progressing on the business world and earning for themselves. But this is also true that there are some kind of women who like to have a pertner with a status.
Women are known to be the emotional individual, so more than anything they always seek a chance to bond. Affection is always what makes a women stay in a relationship no matter what reason she came for. So, women not only look for someone to provide for them but also to be emotionally dependent on them too.
I hope I helped you with your quarries.

There must be passion in a persons job, if not, the person would be unhappy and crabby. there are so many people out there that are not liking what they do and it ruins everyone who comes into contact with them. a person does not need to make a ton of money, enough to get by would be the answer, but we do need to make a substancial amount to be happy too, especially if taking care of a family too.

I think society has made this more important to MEN than women. Most women I know would agree only because we have seen so many guys go violent when they feel they are the "weaker one" or "not providing" for the family. Until the norm changes (which probably won't happen in our lifetimes) it's going to be that way. I'd never want to make more than my fiancé because I know he couldn't handle it. I don't think it makes him weak or anything - but it's so hardwired into him to "be a man" that he doesn't know any other way. If I ever DO make more I'm going to put a bigger chunk in my 401k IRA so it's "hidden" from my paychecks and we get the bulk of it when I retire; by then, he'll be so old he won't care.

For me this only applies to a certain extent and not in the "bread winner" way. I definitely want a guy who either has a job or is currently looking for one, maybe they just got out of school or just got laid off and are in-between, that's acceptable. He doesn't need to end up making more than me, but my income can't support 2 people because it barely supports me and my 2 cats so he needs to be making something. Laziness and excuses upon excuses is extremely unattractive.