It's not just the wedding, he has been ignoring me altogether. This since my kayak and equipment worth thousands were stolen from his garage, he has been off the grid in terms of any communication with me. He hasn't responded to any of my calls, emails, and texts. I don't know why. Now he is getting married next month and I haven't received an invitation. I know they are out; as, I saw one weeks ago at my father's and stepmother's home.

I am unsure why this is happening. I am unsure what to do. It all seems so absurd to me and yes I am hurt too. Is it because he is so embarrassed about the theft? Perhaps, as I suspect, it turns out it was an inside job after all (I've kept my suspicions to myself). Or does this go deeper and is this a response to something I've apparently done but know nothing of?

This all seems so awkward. Perhaps there is a simple explanation. Maybe for instance the invitation is lost in the mail. But asking if I am invited seems confrontational.

Do I just go on as if nothing is afoot?

[SorryShaped]

Look at it this way, you don't have to go to a wedding. I find them generally to be highly nerve-wracking and preparing to do is much more of the same.
I'm sorry if you feel hurt by this, maybe you should talk to him about it?

[Erebos]

How long was your stuff stored in his garage?
Don't suppose they would have sold it to fund the wedding?
Definitely something my family would do to each other.

Originally Posted by Erebos

How long was your stuff stored in his garage?
Don't suppose they would have sold it to fund the wedding?
Definitely something my family would do to each other.

Interesting. I hadn't been in the garage myself since the end of last kayak season (early Sep). I was thinking a nephew of mine was somehow involved but you have raised a plausible alternate cause. My brother has been unemployed now for near two years. Surely it could not be as you have suggested might be so. But, in fact, I still have not seen the garage for myself. I was simply advised all my stuff was gone on the day I asked to pick it up.

I'm a big fan of just asking. It is way easier than speculating because you could be totally off base.

And rightly so I could be. Knuckling down and asking though is a hard prospect for me. I suppose if this goes on much longer I will have to do just that.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl

I'm a big fan of just asking. It is way easier than speculating because you could be totally off base.

I agree, just ask. Say you really want to be there on his special day but haven't gotten an invite yet.

There is one very real problem about asking that has nothing to do with confrontation.... I already have tried to talk to him. He is avoiding and not returning my calls, texts, and messages.

Do I get a third party, like my father, involved?

Some of you may be asking; but hasn't she said she doesn't like the fiance? You are absolutely right. I have written before about my feelings regarding her and her parenting.I have railed against her daughters which I have admitted I despise. These are sentiments however that in real life I have kept to myself - even when others haven't. So why then do I want to go to the wedding? I suppose because it is the right thing to do. Regardless, I feel hurt and puzzled.

[SorryShaped]

There's your answer to why you weren't invited

[divine1966]

He has no job yet he is doing wedding? Hm

There might be two reasons that you aren’t invited: he stole those items from
you and now wants to hide from you. Or he thinks because of your dislike of his
fiancée and her kids he doesn’t think you should be there. He likely knows your feelings.

I’d ask dad if he knows why I am not invited

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

It's not just the wedding, he has been ignoring me altogether. This since my kayak and equipment worth thousands were stolen from his garage, he has been off the grid in terms of any communication with me. He hasn't responded to any of my calls, emails, and texts. I don't know why. Now he is getting married next month and I haven't received an invitation. I know they are out; as, I saw one weeks ago at my father's and stepmother's home.

I am unsure why this is happening. I am unsure what to do. It all seems so absurd to me and yes I am hurt too. Is it because he is so embarrassed about the theft? Perhaps, as I suspect, it turns out it was an inside job after all (I've kept my suspicions to myself). Or does this go deeper and is this a response to something I've apparently done but know nothing of?

This all seems so awkward. Perhaps there is a simple explanation. Maybe for instance the invitation is lost in the mail. But asking if I am invited seems confrontational.

Do I just go on as if nothing is afoot?

Have you ask your parents why your brother has been treating you this way and way you were not invited to the wedding? Or someone else who has been invited to the wedding who may know more about what is going on? It just a suggestion. I had a similar experience myself.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

Interesting. I hadn't been in the garage myself since the end of last kayak season (early Sep). I was thinking a nephew of mine was somehow involved but you have raised a plausible alternate cause. My brother has been unemployed now for near two years. Surely it could not be as you have suggested might be so. But, in fact, I still have not seen the garage for myself. I was simply advised all my stuff was gone on the day I asked to pick it up.

I have three brother and they still from me and as well as from each other. It possible that they may have stolen from you and is hiding it from you.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

There is one very real problem about asking that has nothing to do with confrontation.... I already have tried to talk to him. He is avoiding and not returning my calls, texts, and messages.

Do I get a third party, like my father, involved?

Yes! I would! Who know perhaps the fiance has a problem with you and said something that you may not have said. I have my brother exes and their kids who were jealous of me and their shadow who would like to my brother and my siblings for awhile would have nothing to do with me.

I don't know how he would have knowledge my dislike of his fiance and children - unless, she is on this forum and has recognised herself and me from several threads I started. But yes I wonder. The only other reason is over this theft situation.

As an update, today (Thursday) I reached out to my father. I don't like pulling him into what may turn into a nasty situation but I was at a loss for what else to do. So now is the waiting game.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I don't know how he would have knowledge my dislike of his fiance and children - unless, she is on this forum and has recognised herself and me from several threads I started. But yes I wonder. The only other reason is over this theft situation.

As an update, today (Thursday) I reached out to my father. I don't like pulling him into what may turn into a nasty situation but I was at a loss for what else to do. So now is the waiting game.

It’s hard to hide dislike, especially intense one

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I don't know how he would have knowledge my dislike of his fiance and children - unless, she is on this forum and has recognised herself and me from several threads I started. But yes I wonder. The only other reason is over this theft situation.

As an update, today (Thursday) I reached out to my father. I don't like pulling him into what may turn into a nasty situation but I was at a loss for what else to do. So now is the waiting game.

I'm glad your asking your dad. For me it was because my brother mistress knew she was in the wrong for harrassing me because I told her to leave because of the way she had treated me at my job.

(Sunday) I still haven't heard anything. There is another possible reason. My brother is a social dweeb.

Update...

So, with now a month to the wedding, I jumped in and spoke to my to be SIL. They are still finalizing the plans. Just like my brother to leave things to the last minute. They have no time set because they are still looking for a photographer (now?!!) and they can't obtain a permit for the park until the time is known. They only had 18mos notice, haha. Holy moly. Yep, I should have considered all this knowing how my brother operates.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

(Sunday) I still haven't heard anything. There is another possible reason. My brother is a social dweeb.

It possible right?

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

Update...

So, with now a month to the wedding, I jumped in and spoke to my to be SIL. They are still finalizing the plans. Just like my brother to leave things to the last minute. They have no time set because they are still looking for a photographer (now?!!) and they can't obtain a permit for the park until the time is known. They only had 18mos notice, haha. Holy moly. Yep, I should have considered all this knowing how my brother operates.

So that good news! It possible that they may have invite you but hadn't sent out the invitation out to yet. But ask any way. This way you will know and can be prepare emotionally anyway. Good luck!

[Shazerac]

If they haven’t set a date how could they invite anyone yet? Have other people been invited verbally but not you?

With regards to your kayak going missing...I smell a rat.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

It's not just the wedding, he has been ignoring me altogether. This since my kayak and equipment worth thousands were stolen from his garage, he has been off the grid in terms of any communication with me. He hasn't responded to any of my calls, emails, and texts. I don't know why. Now he is getting married next month and I haven't received an invitation. I know they are out; as, I saw one weeks ago at my father's and stepmother's home.

I am unsure why this is happening. I am unsure what to do. It all seems so absurd to me and yes I am hurt too. Is it because he is so embarrassed about the theft? Perhaps, as I suspect, it turns out it was an inside job after all (I've kept my suspicions to myself). Or does this go deeper and is this a response to something I've apparently done but know nothing of?

This all seems so awkward. Perhaps there is a simple explanation. Maybe for instance the invitation is lost in the mail. But asking if I am invited seems confrontational.

Do I just go on as if nothing is afoot?

My first impression was to think that he might be kind of feeling ashamed that your stuff was stolen under his watch and in his care though that's assuming you haven't had any other obvious falling out or something. You seem kind of baffled by it so I'm guessing you didn't fight or anything with him.

I remember you mentioning the theft but did you ever imply to him it was someone there that stole the stuff?

by saying he's ignored you, do you mean you try to message him or email him and it goes unanswered or is it just that he hasn't been communicative with you lately? being ignored and dealing with someone that just isn't talking at the moment are two vastly different things. I am sure you feel ignored but if he's merely silent could it be he's busy with wedding preparations?

Assuming he's just silent try hitting him up and casually bring up the wedding as a subject. open the door to him saying something or even you mentioning or asking something to inquire about the details of when and where etc. If you're truly not invited, then I'm sure that way it would come out but if it's something that just slipped, that would become clear too.

Hope this helps.