I get the feeling my mum has always hated me. She just gets me to do stuff for her and then treats me like crap. She's said I'll be doing her a favour. You're costing me a fortune. Then I felt oh cheers nice to know I'm loved. I don't know why I put my validation on my mum. I don't have enough money and I'm scared of loneliness and homeless. I feel like sometimes I don't want to be here and that I have no purpose. i've cut my leg and I deserve it. What is the point of buying me stuff if it means nothing? I wish I was aborted seriously. I have no reason to be here.

You are aware of what you're implying

I have a strong desire for my dads validation.

See: we come here, similar situation here and there...

I can give you 10 Internets if you like.

[Travelinglady]

Hi, happycheeks. I'm so sorry your mom seems to feel that way. But that doesn't mean you're not a wonderful, dear person. Hang in here, dear one, and keep looking for ways you can get away and find more caring folks in your life. You know we are here for you and care about you, dear one, so don't hurt yourself. Okay? Can you promise that to us?

[LostSoul74]

Originally Posted by happycheeks

I get the feeling my mum has always hated me.

I feel you happycheeks... you are not alone. My Mom was a very cold, negative, and stubborn person, (especially to me). She ALWAYS favored, supported, and lauded my other brothers though, so it confused me. It made me feel like it was me. After all, she even told my Dad to ensure I didn't come to her funeral. Even knowing this about her and coming to terms with how she was, it still did hurt. BUT, the thing I finally realized is that it had NOTHING to do with me. I wasn't a bad person or horrible son, I just tolerated her behaviors and her ability to release the frustrations and stress of life onto me. I didn't stand up to her because I was always seeking to eventually find love and validation from her. I didn't want to 'rock the boat' lose that 'chance'.

Think of it this way, when a bully (My Mom) puts me down and abused me, they will continue to do so as an outlet for THEIR shortcomings and frustrations. It's not about you, but rather your tolerance of the situation. I'm not saying you need to take a stand or revolt against her because I cant determine the full dynamic of your relationship. However, I can assure you that it's not about you...

*hugs*