[continuosly blue]

I have quite a few issues that really need to be discussed with my wife. But every time I try and bring these issues up for discussion seems to be the wrong time ! There’s always some excuse for not delving into it. Or , she just doesn’t bother to even answer me at all, or directly changes the subject. She makes it feel like I’m “ imposing “ on her time. I think this is a textbook case of passive aggressiveness. She’s an expert at it. Being the narcissist that she is she also does a good job at gaslighting me about almost everything I have to say.
Needless to say my depression is taking a dive because I don’t have what it takes to call her out on it. I make ultimatums that I don’t keep. And she knows this. I’m not afraid of being alone , again , if necessary. But I really wanted to make this work. The thing is I am very frustrated in many areas due to physical and mental problems. So going out there and starting over in my 60’s is not something I really want to do. Yet I’m so unhappy. I’m in therapy but he’s no help at all except to vent. I have no friends. I have no family I can talk to. I feel so alone in this humongous world of ours. I’m sad. I’m crying. I’m too much of a softie. I’m tired of fighting. Help. Thank you for letting me vent here , it’s always been a great place to share what I’m feeling. Thank you and peace to you all.

[MickeyCheeky]

If she doesn't want to change and try to improve things, I don't think there's much you can do other than leave her. I'm sorry

[Travelinglady]

I'm sorry, If she is a narcissist, then she honestly doesn't care how you feel, I'm sad to say.

[treevoice]

Hi there,

I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling with this. I can't imagine how hard it must be to look at starting over again given everything you're going through. But, and correct me if I'm wrong, it doesn't sound like you have a whole lot to lose by disengaging from the situation? If you leave, either you will be free to find a healthier situation, or maybe it will be the reality check this person needs to see that she can't keep treating you the way she has and if she wants to make it work she needs to listen to you. Especially if you haven't followed through with ultimatums in the past, maybe losing you is exactly what she needs to see that she can't ignore your feelings and expect everything to be okay.

Best of luck. <3

[Hairball]

If you cannot verbally talk about problems you are having in your marriage with your wife, maybe get her a nice card that tells her how much you love her and write a letter to her and stick it in the card. Maybe if she read it, in her own timing she will know how you are feeling. She can confront you on it, or she can ignore it.

I urge you to only use "I" statements when you write or talk with her. Using "You" statements will put her in defensive mode. Spill it all out to her.

As harsh as it sounds you may have to give her an ultimatum to experience couples therapy together.

I am only speaking my opinion of course based on my prior experiences in my marriage/divorce, hope this helps a little.

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I just want to thank you all for sharing your opinion and/or your own experience.
You are all right in one way or another. Getting her into couples therapy with me would be , I believe, very helpful. Things can be said to a neutral party in a neutral environment. But getting her to agree to go would be a major accomplishment. It just saddens me how much non-communication can really hurt so much. I think it’s a major problem with all of humanity. If we can’t talk to each other........
Again , thank you all