The Unfriending

I want them to care about me, but they won’t.

I “called out” my niece “embarrassing” her and then texted her saying “let’s take back the fake I love you’s. If you unfriend me on facebook, you unfriend me IRL.”

Then my sister called to defend her daughter. See family members do defend those they love! I told her off for not saying anything while witnessing the posting to defend me and told her and her daughter to go F themselves. Even though I reminded her I have PTSD and other diagnoses, they don’t care. My mother refuses to recognize any “psychobabble” at all!

So what I did was enough to be written off by all of them. Ok. Gotta move on.

And nearly two weeks ago, I called my mom saying “I am so angry at what happened.” She mocked me saying, “I see you are having a bad day.” I said, “Goodbye Mom” and hung up. That’s the last I heard from her. She will NEVER call me again. That’s all that took.

My mother posted this on my facebook wall today. I deleted it. This was the only contact she’s made with me in two weeks since she mocked my anger and hurt. I take it to mean, ‘get over it. Let us hurt you’. Am I wrong?

Yes, it was completely invalidating and implying I grossly overreact to everything that is said to me, which is not true. Horrid family!

It means, ‘I know you are hurt and suffering and I don’t care. Get over it. No one here will be supportive to you.’ She only cared enough to post a quote on my facebook wall. Perhaps that was to embarrass me the same as I embarrassed my niece by my post.

I suppose I will suffer for a very long time over distancing myself from my family. The fantasy of a loving family is hard to let go of and accept the reality of a non loving family I no longer know.

The Clinician's Guide to Helping Client's Heal from Trauma Bonds: Breaking Free from Toxic Relationships | The Recovery Expert

Another article to help me moving forward.

I’ll just keep my distance and not call, and stay off social media. It hurts too much to be disregarded and punished by my mother. She’s cruel. I’m sorry to lose my sister, but this was all it took. I’m very unimportant and not too likable. I’ll just keep to myself and put on a pleasant appearance.

Thank you all for your comments.

It’s time to take out of storage my Holiday Friends and Family Inflatable Dolls! I’m dusting them off and sitting them at my table!

A person who writes a post, “If you still support the Kavanaugh nomination, unfriend me now”, is “embarrassed by being called out” on my post? I see how I was wrong to do that. It was an impulsive action due to a traumatic reaction. And I am not proud of telling her to F herself. However, I do mean the sentiment regarding how their treatment of me deeply hurt me. So I’m not calling or apologizing.

It’s just an unfortunate turn of events and how I lost my family. I truly don’t mean anything to them if this incident was cause to act like they have.

And I’ve been such a good daughter and sister. I’ve been loving and giving. I had just gone to visit them and paid for a lot. She and her daughter made a dinner at their houses, too. It seemed like we had a good relationship.

This incident, with me who is dealing with having emotional issues, was enough to end it.

It going to take me a lot of time to get over this, if ever.

Am I missing something? What are they thinking? Are they thinking they are waiting for me to call and apologize or they will never talk to me again? Do I owe that to them? Do I owe my mother an apology for getting off the phone because she was so unsupportive? What the heck is really going on here? Can anyone make sense of this?

Yeah, this kind of thing is why I gave up and deleted my facebook entirely. It wasn't worth the drama. I had a falling out with my family in reality long before I made that decision, though. I think facebook is toxic because people disassociate from reality on it and think its acceptable to say whatever they please; or if you're like me and have no real friends, it just makes you feel more alone. I'm sorry that happened to you.

Your family seems to be pretty passive aggressive if they won't talk to you directly but only post quotes on your wall. I would be hurt too. You might want to block or unfriend them on Facebook so they can't hurt you like this.

You can’t heal from trauma when the trauma keeps happening. I’m moving on and caring for myself and my immediate family. There’s no more drama with my mom, dad, and sisters as they won’t be calling or contacting me unless they want something from me and I can just say no.

My mother knows how much her phone games and silent treatment hurts me because she has done this time and time again and when I tell her how much it hurts me she says, “That’s stupid!”

You can’t heal from trauma when the trauma keeps happening. I’m moving on and caring for myself and my immediate family. There’s no more drama with my mom, dad, and sisters as they won’t be calling or contacting me unless they want something from me and I can just say no.

Stonewalling And The Silent Treatment: When The Narcissist’s Silence Is Deafening | Thought Catalog

Good bye stonewalling family!