[Skull&Crossbones]

How common is it to be in a long-term relationship and not really have mutual friends? I met a lot of my ex's friends and acquaintances but none of them ever became my friends or acquaintances outside of him. I'm not sure he's met many if any of my acquaintances or ones that have become friends. A couple of colleague/friends I guess. For most of the relationship, most of my socializing was with him or his friends or family. It's too bad I couldn't really forge a connection to any of his friends, but I don't know, am I supposed to? Are people in a relationship just supposed to have separate friends or are they supposed to have common friends? I am still bummed I never got to meet his #1 best friend in person (He apparently considers at least four friends to be his best friend. He was never very good at math...).

[MickeyCheeky]

I think it would be weird if your partner never presented his friends to you. However, I don't think you HAVE to share friends... I don't think it's expected to. At least I don't think I would expect it... and besides, friendship grows overtime.

[divine1966]

I don’t think there are rules on what supposed to happen. It’s nice to have mutual friends but it’s not a rule that you must have them. The best is probably to have separate friends and mutual friends but it’s not a requirement. Some people might not even have that many friends to begin with. Whatever works for you and your relationship is the way to go.

[Skull&Crossbones]

I was just wondering if it were a red flag that I felt like such an outsider with most of the people he was friends with. I always wondered if he were ashamed of me or was afraid of what people might think. I know he compared us to other couples and likely really wished I were not queer. I have no idea if it were on purpose or by accident, but there were times he would forget to introduce me to people and/or have a conversation with someone and they would both completely leave me out.

And of course, through it all, it was all my fault for not being able to be friends with people like that. I didn't have a lot of friends when we were first together, but I lost all of to date him. I remember trying to keep the friendships up, but I was also in grad school and it was a mix of a lack of time, them not wanting me around as much since I was with him, and saying negative things about him.