My fiance sent me an interesting article this morning about a soul being tired and exhausted, not just the physical body. We both complain about being drained at the end of each day and of feeling completely exhausted. Some nights we can hardly do anything except crawl into bed.

He said that the years of hell he went through with his abusive ex probably took a huge toll on him, just like my abusive ex impacted me negatively for a whole year after our breakup.

We are both still on the mend, but we have found that the deep love we have for each other is most healing.

I wonder if that's truly the key to healing from an ex... ? Is finding true love that surpasses anything you've ever had with anyone?

I can also imagine that finding your true self again, being independent and free again to do as you please, and creating a life for yourself that is very happy, full and rich (spiritually speaking) can accomplish the exact same things as finding true love again. That's pretty much the same as falling in love with yourself and your own life.

But for the two of us, it seems that our love is healing both of us from years and years of damage. Interesting stuff.

[downandlonely]

I'm glad you and your fiance are helping each other heal.

Originally Posted by downandlonely

I'm glad you and your fiance are helping each other heal.

THX!

[MickeyCheeky]

((((golden_eve)))) I think you're right. Love and compassion can definitely help us lead a better life. Not just romantic love. Thank you for sharing your experience

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

((((golden_eve)))) I think you're right. Love and compassion can definitely help us lead a better life. Not just romantic love. Thank you for sharing your experience

YES YES AND YES! Thanks, Mickey!

That's great Eve. I do believe that being with someone right for us, belonging, and deep connection as well as loving and fun physical intimacy, as well as hugging, all heal us and make us happy. I also like that you said this: "I can also imagine that finding your true self again, being independent and free again to do as you please, and creating a life for yourself that is very happy, full and rich (spiritually speaking) can accomplish the exact same things as finding true love again. That's pretty much the same as falling in love with yourself and your own life." That's so true.

Originally Posted by KnitChick

That's great Eve. I do believe that being with someone right for us, belonging, and deep connection as well as loving and fun physical intimacy, as well as hugging, all heal us and make us happy. I also like that you said this: "I can also imagine that finding your true self again, being independent and free again to do as you please, and creating a life for yourself that is very happy, full and rich (spiritually speaking) can accomplish the exact same things as finding true love again. That's pretty much the same as falling in love with yourself and your own life." That's so true.

Thanks KnitChick!

YES.... it can be both ways, finding true love OR finding yourself again that can be very healing, I do believe.

[divine1966]

I agree. Yes it could be very healing.

My husband’s ex was horrible to him and the kids and she still continues messing with our lives directly and indirectly, he did find a lot of healing in his marriage to me finding out that relationship can be satisfying equal partnership and doesn’t have to be continuous chaos and madness. He had no idea that it could be normal as he spent his entire adult life living in terrible chaos that he tried to manage the best he could.

He is now dealing with feelings of guilt of staying too long out of fear for his kids’ future and sense of responsibility etc He has to undo almost 30 years of damage but it’s amazing how much healing good relationship can provide.

[downandlonely]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

((((golden_eve)))) I think you're right. Love and compassion can definitely help us lead a better life. Not just romantic love. Thank you for sharing your experience

I agree with Mickey here. I don't really care for romantic relationships, but it is important to have some sort of love in your life.

Originally Posted by downandlonely

I agree with Mickey here. I don't really care for romantic relationships, but it is important to have some sort of love in your life.

Agreed! My point is that the love I have is healing

[xiximmxi]

I think everything is a process.
It's easier to know what love is when you know what love isn't.

The cliche saying - one day you'll meet someone that makes you realize why it has never worked with anyone before - I think it's very true... I never thought I'd be able to feel this happy and hopeful about love until I met my current "lobster."

Glad you've found yours, Eve.

Originally Posted by xiximmxi

I think everything is a process.
It's easier to know what love is when you know what love isn't.

The cliche saying - one day you'll meet someone that makes you realize why it has never worked with anyone before - I think it's very true... I never thought I'd be able to feel this happy and hopeful about love until I met my current "lobster."

Glad you've found yours, Eve.

Oh my gosh, you’re SO right!!! In every way! Thank you for this!