Frustrated by narcissist enablers

Hello everyone. New to this forum and not entirely sure that this is the right place to post, as I don’t have NPD, but I do have ADHD and comorbid mood disorders which may predispose me to attracting narcissists like a magnet.

Though I’ve gotten better at recognizing these folks and minimizing my interaction with them before I get sucked into the usual vortex, I’m still getting over one four years after the fact. I’ve come a long way, but what’s really bugging me these days is this:

Why do they have so many old, loyal friends?

WHAT’S UP WITH THE ENABLERS? This person who’s hurt me and many others has more old, loyal friends than anyone I know. At this point, I just want to find a way to release the judgement and anger I feel for some of our mutual friends—who are lovely, compassionate, intelligent people—and their absolute refusal to call out abusive behaviour. Is it that they can’t or won’t see it? Whatever it is, it frustrates and saddens me, as does the fact that he’s apparently capable of and willing to show some people love. Hope this makes sense.

Thanks in advance for any light you can shine on this.

I recall replying to your first post here on PC. Honestly I don't have an answer for you with regard to your question. However, since you mentioned wanting to find a way to release the judgement & anger you feel, here are links to 4 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that hopefully may be of some help:

On Feeling Angry

15 Steps To Manage Anger | Cultivating Contentment & Happiness

4 Ways to Use Your Anger to Be More Powerful

Understanding What Your Emotions Are Trying to Tell You

I think a lot of people don't want to rock the boat and confront the narcissist. I also think narcissists tend to be great manipulators (unfortunately) and they have a way of brainwashing people into siding with them. It's awful to witness.