[Esmme]

I'm in another awkward position...

Sorry these happen often online, I guess. :/

Anyway, I have a mutual friend, he recently started messaging me because we both are diagnosed with schizophrenia. He seemed nice enough, but eventually he started telling me how "beautiful" I am and wanted to voice chat.
He's seen pictures of me online, but I haven't seen pictures of him... So I asked and he sent a picture.

He claims to be three years younger than me... But in his picture, he literally looked to be about 35. For lack of better words, (and sorry if I seem harsh) he was not attractive to me. He also told me that he has two children, which, I was DEFINITELY not going to bother with.

We only talked for about three days and he asked me if we could have sex if he ever came to California and I was like, "Ew. WTF." I didn't actually *say* that to him, but I was extremely creeped out. I DID however, tell him that I only had sex with people I knew in person... He looks like my ****ing uncle... and he had the nerve to ask if I'd have sex with him!? AFTER ONLY TALKING TO ME FOR TWO DAYS?!

What's wrong with men online?! Seriously... I don't want to talk to him anymore, but I don't know how to... tell him that I'm not interested in him? I don't respond to his messages with more than three words. I'm thinking of blocking him, but we are both in the same server, so I don't know if I could do that stealthily.

I ****ing HATE when men start off a conversation about mental health, seemingly being supportive and understanding, only to start "flirting" (or some form of flirting?) with you...

It doesn't make any ******* sense!

Sorry, I'm a little upset because it feels like every man I meet (mostly online, but IRL too) only wants sex from me or to take advantage of me because I have schizophrenia.

Is there something I am doing wrong that's attracting these creeps to me?
Is there any way I can change this?

[SorryShaped]

I don't know how to change things.
I have to say that I totally am and have been head-over-heels for a woman that I know has mental differences for a year now. I can't see me being her "one" but I'd die for a chance to be her one night. She's the most attractive woman I've ever met and I am nothing to her

[divine1966]

I don’t think you need to explain anything to him. You don’t know him so you can just stop replying. I think if you aren’t interested from the get go, it’s better not to keep talking.

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by Esmme

I'm in another awkward position...

Sorry these happen often online, I guess. :/

Anyway, I have a mutual friend, he recently started messaging me because we both are diagnosed with schizophrenia. He seemed nice enough, but eventually he started telling me how "beautiful" I am and wanted to voice chat.
He's seen pictures of me online, but I haven't seen pictures of him... So I asked and he sent a picture.

He claims to be three years younger than me... But in his picture, he literally looked to be about 35. For lack of better words, (and sorry if I seem harsh) he was not attractive to me. He also told me that he has two children, which, I was DEFINITELY not going to bother with.

We only talked for about three days and he asked me if we could have sex if he ever came to California and I was like, "Ew. WTF." I didn't actually *say* that to him, but I was extremely creeped out. I DID however, tell him that I only had sex with people I knew in person... He looks like my ****ing uncle... and he had the nerve to ask if I'd have sex with him!? AFTER ONLY TALKING TO ME FOR TWO DAYS?!

What's wrong with men online?! Seriously... I don't want to talk to him anymore, but I don't know how to... tell him that I'm not interested in him? I don't respond to his messages with more than three words. I'm thinking of blocking him, but we are both in the same server, so I don't know if I could do that stealthily.

I ****ing HATE when men start off a conversation about mental health, seemingly being supportive and understanding, only to start "flirting" (or some form of flirting?) with you...

It doesn't make any ******* sense!

Sorry, I'm a little upset because it feels like every man I meet (mostly online, but IRL too) only wants sex from me or to take advantage of me because I have schizophrenia.

Is there something I am doing wrong that's attracting these creeps to me?
Is there any way I can change this?

I hope I can help answer some of your questions.

Many of the men I met online over the years were unmitigated creeps who used the relative safety of hiding behind a screen to lie and be as offensive, filthy and obnoxious as they could. I shudder to think that they acted the way they did online in real life and I never buy the idea of "oh, I'm only a $@#% online, never in real life." There are predators out there looking to take advantage of vulnerable people.

So here are my pointers.

If you have an age range you prefer--stick to it. If he looked 35 he could also have been 40. Unless you are 35 or 40--pass.

If you are not interested in fathers -- pass. It's your choice and you don't need to explain.

Don't talk about sex to people online. Predators will get completely bent out of shape at your refusal and will attempt to browbeat you into giving them their jollies. Pass on every one of these jerks.

[Lefty Seven]

Tell him you're no longer into dudes. Check and mate.

I would just block him.

I am wondering what you mean by "You're on the same server so it might not be easy to just drop him." And, you don't owe him anything.

[Esmme]

Originally Posted by KnitChick

I am wondering what you mean by "You're on the same server so it might not be easy to just drop him." And, you don't owe him anything.

Oh, what I meant was that we're in the same "group" of friends, so if I ignored him, it would be extremely obvious because we are in the same "group" online.
I hope that makes sense.

I'm not the best at explaining things

[Esmme]

Originally Posted by IceCreamKid

I hope I can help answer some of your questions.

Many of the men I met online over the years were unmitigated creeps who used the relative safety of hiding behind a screen to lie and be as offensive, filthy and obnoxious as they could. I shudder to think that they acted the way they did online in real life and I never buy the idea of "oh, I'm only a $@#% online, never in real life." There are predators out there looking to take advantage of vulnerable people.

So here are my pointers.

If you have an age range you prefer--stick to it. If he looked 35 he could also have been 40. Unless you are 35 or 40--pass.

If you are not interested in fathers -- pass. It's your choice and you don't need to explain.

Don't talk about sex to people online. Predators will get completely bent out of shape at your refusal and will attempt to browbeat you into giving them their jollies. Pass on every one of these jerks.

I just realized I didn't share my age here!
I'm 23. He said he was 20. Maybe he was, but he looked so, so much older.

Originally Posted by Esmme

Oh, what I meant was that we're in the same "group" of friends, so if I ignored him, it would be extremely obvious because we are in the same "group" online.
I hope that makes sense.

I'm not the best at explaining things

No, you're ok. You don't have to apologize. I just didn't know. I get how that could feel weird. Do what you feel is best but I encourage you to be strong and at least ignore him or tell him you are uninterested. He'll get over it.

[Esmme]

I don't know why I get into these situations...

I did tell him that I didn't have sex with strangers. I should have ignored him, and I tried, but he eventually noticed because we are a part of the same online group. I told him I don't have sex with strangers so he asked, "if we met and got along, could we have sex?"

I got so ****ing pissed off. I told him that I didn't make friends for the intents of eventually having sex. I told him that I would never have a relationship with him and that it was NOT negotiable. I told him that it was ****ing creepy to even ask a stranger to have sex.

He backpedaled really quickly and was like, "I don't know why I said that!"
Bullsh*t, he know exactly why he said that...

Thank you for all your comments.
It actually felt pretty good to call someone out on their bullsh*t for once instead of just sitting there and taking it and being passive about it.

I think from this point on, it will be a lot easier to stand
Up to those creeps (online and in person) who only see me as a sex item

Awesome! Good for you.

[sarahsweets]

I say so what if he is in the same circle of friends as you. Block him anyway.

You are being completely reasonable and rational for being upset. No one should exploit your weakness like that. Your response to him is validated!

For future reference, let me speak from what I learned from my own past mistake:

One thing I [finally] learned to be careful about is not to share personal information until I feel that someone is a safe person. I used to trust and open up to people so easily before and now regret doing that. So don't share about your mental health condition until you feel that that person is safe.

Also, you may want to explore other means of meeting people off-line.

[G lady]

Block him. You owe him nothing and he was WAY over the line in being inappropriate and creepy. Not talking about sex to people you only know online is great advice.

Take care and stay safe!