[ducky2030]

So I have suspected my mother of being a covert narcissist for a while when I think back on past conversations and situation where I felt something was off. and here is the thing about my mother, SHE DOES NOT EXPRESS WHO TRUEST EMOTIONS EVERRRR! BUT, she does love to yell when trying to get her point across or prove to you she is right about something! Most recently was having a conversation with my mom and I mentioned how my apt was raising my rent. I feel like she was prying for information when she then asked, how much they are raising it, and how much MORE is it compared to what Im paying. ( WHICH WOULD TELL HER HOW MUCH MY CURRENT RENT IS, BY SUBTRACTING).So I feel as though she was asking simply because she is nosy and wants to know how much I pay in rent. SO she asked me these questions in a round about way to get information out of me because she knows I DO NOT SHARE PERSONAL INFO RELATING TO MONEY with her. She has blatantly tried to manipulate me to give her money numerous times in the past. Im not super bothered by basically telling her how much my rent is, Im more bothered by the fact I feel she was being manipulative and sneaky by asking those questions in a round-about way thinking I wouldn't notice. I could just be a bit dramatic but I also feel Im pretty good at reading between the lines with her! SO basically Im asking does this sound sneaky to you or just a normal conversation.

[Open Eyes]

Be careful about labeling someone a covert narcissist as it can get you into constantly looking for that in your mother when she may be just a nosey mother. It's ok to set your boundaries when it comes to sharing your finances with not only your mother but others, it's not something I care to do either and a lot of people dont.

It could be that she just doesn't feel comfortable with showing her emotions with people, some people prefer to keep their feelings about things to themselves. You have a right to set boundaries with her and if you think she is trying to get information from you in round about ways, then just stay on firm ground with your boundaries and change the subject. Now you know to avoid even telling her that your rent was raised.

[healingme4me]

I agree about boundaries. It bothers you to discuss finances with her. She's proven to ask you for money in the past. It's a legitimate reason to not want to discuss the cost of things with her.

Originally Posted by artsygirl88

SO basically Im asking does this sound sneaky to you or just a normal conversation.

I don't know if it is sneaky but I feel she is not respecting your boundaries. It may be safe to not discuss anything personal with her. You may just have to keep it casual by talking about the weather or an interesting recipe you found on the Internet.

[hvert]

My mother does the same thing! I agree that it seems sneaky or manipulative. It gets kind of hard to have any kind of conversation when you always have to be on guard.

[ducky2030]

Originally Posted by hvert

My mother does the same thing! I agree that it seems sneaky or manipulative. It gets kind of hard to have any kind of conversation when you always have to be on guard.

YES! I have learned to not speak on certain subjects, but it is hard sometimes, when in a normal flow of conversation to be conscious of exactly what Im saying at all times so as to not facilitate a conversation that I do not want to have!! ESPECIALLY when i'm hypomanic

[hvert]

Yeah, I feel like I can't say anything anymore and just try to avoid her as much as possible. My mother copies me. I've run into her on vacation because I accidentally mentioned I was going somewhere.... so I no longer tell her any of my plans (it's not just vacations she copies). She still tries to get the information out of me or other family members and will book the same time off. It's maddening. I don't even want to tell her where I've been because I don't want to see her there the next year.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, artsygirl88 I agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. Perhaps she's not being necessarely manipulative, but you definitely need to set boundaries. You don't have to share things you don't want to share. Just avoid talking about this with your mother and if she does bring it up, just try to change the subject. I'm so sorry, it can be annoying. I'm sure you'll be able to get through this. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this