[son1]

Ok moms been staying on couch, decided to take in stray cats against my wishes but recently realized she causes me anxiety because I have been criticized my whole life I think she is taking advantage of me I really glad to have her help even though it is not much. On the other side she decided to keep 10 cats as pets getting old to give away still young not kittens now. The real problem is the way she treats me with the things she says. She absolutely has no respect for me crticizes everything especialy past issues not sorry about anything she has done wrong to get herself where she is now or ways she hurt me not to mention the times she lost her temper I remember as a toddler phisical attacks. She doesnt support me believes the other side when as a kid accused of wrongdoing. Stuck behind my brothers they were never bad, there is a gap when my first brother was born dad said he was the new hope son,and he knew he would make good grades not a dissapointment like me Mom never mentioned about the attention problems at school the exact diagnosis name I dont recall they wanted to give me stimulants im 60 on them now and trying to make up and do everything I can the next 20 years I would like to get to know mom better I thought wanted her to teach me to cook the thing she does good It doesn't seem possible she wont be around forever She says she never liked me and I believe it she doesnt believe in ADD and we just cant get along I have tried hard it is mentaly exhasting to try to not say the wrong thing. I WILL BE GOING TO ADHD FORUM but this is more of a comunication issue she pokes her head around the corner to inform of something but walks away before I can talk. 2 of her personal cats are sick they cant help it I step in it she says I was always too stupid to look where I walk that type of thing I think i need community support locally I have been keeping my eyes open for a freind new girlfreind anyone might help me stand up to her. I havent had a drink in years and dont abuse drugs or my medicine she never forgets the couple times years ago. I hear about the same past mistakes over and over By the way brothers were encouraged not to talk to me the youngest always did .What should I do?

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry I don't think there is anything I can offer regarding what you should do. Perhaps there will be other members, here on PC, who will have some suggestions they can share. However here are links to 3 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of how to deal with difficult family members as well as with narcissistic parents. Perhaps some of the ideas in these articles can be of some help:

How to Deal with Difficult Family Members

Coping When You Have a Narcissistic Parent

How to Deal with Covert Narcissist (Or 'Victim') Parents or In-Laws

My best wishes to you...

why is mom on your couch? do you handle all the expenses, is it your place?
does mom have her home?
there are other siblings, why is she not there?

if there are other places to stay, have her get off your couch (if you are financially independent) and go to their couch. with the cats. all of them.

are you an adult? then your meds & diagnosis are your business not hers. doesn't really matter if she believes or not, it makes it easier but her belief doesn't make it necessary.

siblings talking to you are nice but you can manage on your own. of course she doesn't want them talking to you.. you might tell them to take her in. which you should at some point. share the wealth , with mom being the wealth. it is not going to be easy but if you want your couch, house, & freedom you will have to stand up and speak out, with a strong back bone. mom sounds like she is con trolling and has it all figured out.

[WishfulThinker66]

Why is mom on your couch? Why is she allowed to have multiple cats? Why are these cats not getting veterinary care? I encourage you to speak up and say no to these things and take control of the situation. I also would get her to see a doctor - even a GP will be a start.

Collecting animals is a type of hoarding. Not to mention having cats that aren't getting veterinary care is health risk to the humans in the home. She needs help - and a family doctor is a good place to start.

[sarahsweets]

If this is your place or you contribute to it financially then you get a say about supporting ten cats.

[Fuzzybear]

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, son1 I completely agree with what all the wonderful people on this thread have already wisely said better than I ever could! You've been given lots of great advice on this thread! I'd suggest to follow it fi you can! If this is your home or you contribue economically to it then you have EVERY RIGHT to speak up and to make her understand that she can't keep sitting on the couch and having so many cats around without properly taking care of them! It may be really dangerous for your and for her own health! I'm so sorry she isn't being kind to you and treating you with the deserve and respect you NEED AND DESERVE! I believe she doesn't have any right to judge you for your MI! I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! Does she see a doctor? Maybe that could help! I hope you'll both be able to get the help you need and deserve! I hope things will get better soon for both of you! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let me know if I can do something to help you! Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this! I hope things will get better soon with your mother! Belive in yourself! You're a strong, wonderful person! We all know that! I'm sure you know it as well even if it's deep down! Please remember that!