[TishaBuv]

I always thought my pretty much ALL strange relationships were a product of where I lived.

More of my bf’s were addicts than were not.

Everybody’s parents were whack and some were literally whacked.

Have MOST of your relationships, especially romantic relationships, been strange? Not necessarily dysfunctional. Just certainly not of the type from the Hallmark Channel and wholesome, “normal”... rather just “off”?

[divine1966]

No. None are/were strange.

They are/were very normal in how they conducted their lives, in a way most are/were very similar to each other in their life styles. I am not interested in anything too strange, neither in romantic nor in friendships. Most people I surround myself are very similar.

But I find your point of where one lives very valid.

My husband always lived in the middle of no where and it’s a very run down area with no jobs and no cultural life, his options were very limited. His ex wife and a very few girlfriends he had were all total wacakooddles and yes with addiction issues, his friends were also very far from upstanding and quite strange and most he completely cut ties with (they ended up making choices in life that didn’t suit him).

I don’t know if it’s always the area though. “Wherever you go, there you are”, who we are and who we attract to in our lives don’t really change.

I lived on two continents but people I am with are very similar there or here. But then again I always live in similar areas, regardless what country.

Hm good thread

[s4ndm4n2006]

I'm not sure Hallmark Channel is even close to what reality is tbh. so if normal relationships that are not like what you see on tv makes them strange, yes, every one of mine were strange

[divine1966]

Is it hallmark or lifetime where somebody always stalking somebody and end up killing some people? Often ex wife or a nanny are involved? Talking about strange...

[unaluna]

LOL - Thats Lifetime!

[TishaBuv]

True, I may be assuming some people are IRL like on TV.

I gave this some thought last night. My friendships with females have been pretty typical and not so strange. It was my relationships with the males...

I suppose it was my low self esteem that caused me to compromise myself to get love and attention from men who were not healthy for me.

But here’s the thing— The ‘strange’ relationships were not exactly healthy and fulfilling, but they did not cause me the emotional trauma that I developed during my marriage due to my husband. He is the most ‘normal’ and not ‘strange’ person I ever knew! I chose the most secure, stabile person to marry! And then I became an emotional wreck! It wasn’t the flaky, drug addicts that got to me... It was the ‘rock’ of a spouse who just won’t treat me as I need to be treated, no matter how I asked for that.

But, I never was going to get that far with the others in the past anyway. They did not commit to me (honestly, doing me a favor), or I did not commit to them (seeing the huge red flags and ending it). So what happened is what happened.

Moving forward...

I’m trying to focus on other things to give my life purpose. I’m trying to end the hysteria and keep the emotions in check. Now that I accept it is what it is, I can change my attitude for coping.

[hvert]

I've also wondered why so many of my relationships are so strange, romantic and platonic. I've never thought it was related to where I lived and suspect it has more to do with the chaotic household I grew up in. I don't feel like I fit in with 'normal' people. I don't know how to act and they can tell that I'm not one of them. I don't have those kinds of problems with other weirdos

That's so wild that it was your 'normal' husband that got to you!

[Skull&Crossbones]

I imagine most of my relationships have been strange. My parents were usually cold and distant. They are entirely incapable of emotional support.
I've lost at least one friend over their reaction to me coming out. I think I lost another friend because I indirectly expressed interest in her.
I've only been in one real romantic relationship...that was weird. I have no idea what to expect or hope for out of a relationship now. I don't know what needs I'm supposed to have or what I have to keep to myself. Nothing makes sense because that relationship was so weird. And since I'm not conventionally attractive and queer (and look like I'm 17 or so), there are no options anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by hvert

I've also wondered why so many of my relationships are so strange, romantic and platonic. I've never thought it was related to where I lived and suspect it has more to do with the chaotic household I grew up in. I don't feel like I fit in with 'normal' people. I don't know how to act and they can tell that I'm not one of them. I don't have those kinds of problems with other weirdos

That's so wild that it was your 'normal' husband that got to you!

My mom always liked having colorful, interesting friends and I may have learned that from her. They are much more fun! But, with that, usually came strangeness. For example; this one friend of hers kept us awake all night while she packed for us all to go on a trip (we stayed in her house). This woman was like Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest screaming at her housekeeper about what to pack and about hangers, practically beating her with hangers. But this is her funny, quirky friend.

[TishaBuv]

I started having crying fits over frustration due to one specific dynamic of the sexual/intimacy dynamic with him.

I never cried with any other boyfriends. I cried when the one dumped me. He did it by standing me up for a date and simply never calling me again. I cried for hours. I never called him again either. I’d never give him the satisfaction to know how much he hurt me.

Years of crying fits from Mr. Wonderful.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by Skull&Crossbones

I imagine most of my relationships have been strange. My parents were usually cold and distant. They are entirely incapable of emotional support.
I've lost at least one friend over their reaction to me coming out. I think I lost another friend because I indirectly expressed interest in her.
I've only been in one real romantic relationship...that was weird. I have no idea what to expect or hope for out of a relationship now. I don't know what needs I'm supposed to have or what I have to keep to myself. Nothing makes sense because that relationship was so weird. And since I'm not conventionally attractive and queer (and look like I'm 17 or so), there are no options anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter.

Don’t sell yourself short. There is someone for everybody.

Every time I think I must be alone in something, I come to learn I am completely average.