Friend is having a Bachelorette Party in Cali and not sure if I'll go

One of my friends is having her party in Cali in August, but I'm not sure if I can go because I have two other trips planned this summer including an international one.

I'm most worried about cost. If I go, I'd only go for part of the trip and fly in later than everyone else. There was also a group text sent out that I'm a part of and some people already have their tickets. And some folks are already talking about splitting costs. I want to go but with my other trips coming up, that would be a lot of money.

I also want to show up to this since I value our friendship.

What should I say to the group if I'm still deciding if I'll go?

With destination events it’s only understandable not everyone can attend. You can just tell them the truth that you can’t figure out if you can afford it so you are still thinking.

If it’s important to you and an important friend, I’d explain that you can only afford to stay less time but that you want to go. Then just do a portion of the trip like you mentioned. If you can swing a shorter trip I’m sure your friend would greatly appreciate and value having you there.

Are you able to attend the actual wedding or is that also tricky due to finances? If you can go to the wedding, you could just skip the bachelorette party and explain that you can't afford it. These things tend to get blown out of proportion. Money doesn't grow on trees and friendship isn't really about parties in Cali, right? A good friend would understand if you cannot afford to attend. Do what works for you and hopefully you can attend the wedding.

Yes I'll be attending the wedding, which will be local. I'm not in the bridal party but she invited me to go since I'm her friend

Is it important to you to be at the bachelorette party? Sounds like you already have a full plate?

Since you're still unsure, I would just tell them what you've told us. That you have yet to decide if you'll actually go due to cost and other trips you've already planned.

Better that she'll know you might not actually go, and im sure she'd be pleased if you decide to. At least she won't be expecting your arrival, it would lessen the dissapointment if she were to feel that way, as opposed to telling her you're going when you're still undecided and can possibly change your mind.

I've had these same questions too as a broke college-aged student fresh out of school. I applaud your willigness to support your friend during this time with your presence, but she will understand the truth if you decide to share it with her.

Among a group of women, you two won’t really have quality time together anyway at a bachelorette party. What do you think about the idea of telling her you’d like to take her out one night, just the two of you, before the wedding to celebrate locally? Time and money saved and friendship strengthened!

This is a WONDERFUL and creative response to the problem! Excellent idea Tishbuv

I think you got something going here especially with the part about spending individual quality time!