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  #26  
Old Jun 16, 2019, 07:52 AM
Anonymous40643
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Originally Posted by with fishes View Post
Yes, I meant it in a different way - I do still love him, but I am not conflicted at all about not wanting to be with him. I think it's entirely possible to still care for someone you've spent most of your life with, while not wanting to be in a relationship with them ever again. We were not healthy for each other at all. I'm not "close" with my ex. We text each other every once in a while to keep tabs on what's going on in our lives, but that's the extend of it. He's depressed and has virtually no support system, so I worry. I am aware he's not my responsibility.

That's what I think now too, after some contemplation. It would make sense.

Thanks, for clarifying!

Perhaps another conversation would be worthwhile?

Either that, or you just accept his stance for now, though that would upset me (if it were me), and feeling insecure is not a healthy place to be in a relationship.

What's the big deal in saying you're in a relationship and giving it more of a label, if you're crazy about each other? I don't get it. Seems a bit controlling on his part... withholding.

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  #27  
Old Jun 16, 2019, 11:02 AM
AspiringAuthor AspiringAuthor is offline
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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
They sleep together so it would be wise to inform other dates that she is intimate with another man. It might not bother other causal dates but most people would be apprehensive.

Plus it’s not very fair to prospective dates, even if casual
I did not suggest that OP hide anything.
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  #28  
Old Jun 16, 2019, 01:12 PM
Anonymous45023
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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
You continue dating a man who threw out his friend for referring to you as his girlfriend after 6 months of dating and after sleeping with you. It’s degrading and pretty much puts you to your place. No good. It’s degrading
Quote:
Originally Posted by golden_eve View Post
What's the big deal in saying you're in a relationship and giving it more of a label, if you're crazy about each other? I don't get it. Seems a bit controlling on his part... withholding.
BINGO! You two put words to the sense I felt in reading the thread.

Why the hell an adult man would be so reactionary to such a simple thing is not only perplexing, but troubling. It matters to you, and that is reason enough he should "man up". We don't always do things because we "feel like it". That is a very immature stance. Just because someone is older doesn't mean they are mature.

I can't agree that the pill thing was cute. And I'm well-versed in references and inside jokes, but this, especially in light of the issue at hand, is not that simple.

Something is off.

Last edited by Anonymous45023; Jun 16, 2019 at 02:37 PM.
Thanks for this!
Bill3
  #29  
Old Jun 16, 2019, 03:53 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AspiringAuthor View Post
I did not suggest that OP hide anything.
Good point. You didn’t. I just thought that bringing more men into this unhealthy dynamic might not be a good idea
  #30  
Old Jun 16, 2019, 04:06 PM
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unaluna unaluna is online now
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So after 6 months of dating, you are pushing for a commitment of some kind, and he is not willing to commit yet.

I really dont see a problem?
  #31  
Old Jun 17, 2019, 12:01 AM
WhatsNextNow WhatsNextNow is offline
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He doesn't want you to say he's your boyfriend, yet get's upset when you don't. He throws friends out who understandably think you are in a relationship. He's a real flake, and there's emotional abuse happening. He wants things to go how he wants them to go, and that can change at any time. I think you might like some chaos in your life; games. Why not be on your own for a time. His age is a factor, no matter how much you like hanging with " mature " people. He has had more time to create his messed up relationship maneuvers.
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  #32  
Old Jun 17, 2019, 04:16 AM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhatsNextNow View Post
He doesn't want you to say he's your boyfriend, yet get's upset when you don't. He throws friends out who understandably think you are in a relationship. He's a real flake, and there's emotional abuse happening. He wants things to go how he wants them to go, and that can change at any time. I think you might like some chaos in your life; games. Why not be on your own for a time. His age is a factor, no matter how much you like hanging with " mature " people. He has had more time to create his messed up relationship maneuvers.
Good post. Age and maturity is not the same thing. This guy is older but that doesn’t make him more mature. He is a player.

It could be that he prefers younger women with less experience as older women wouldn’t buy this nonsense he is selling. I know I dated some guys in my younger years that I wouldn’t even consider now. It takes time to learn .

I hope it all doesn’t end up in disaster and OP just walks away one day before things get worse
  #33  
Old Jun 20, 2019, 09:00 PM
OSP123 OSP123 is offline
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I have been in the same exact situation as you, only it was 2 years of him not wanting a title of boyfriend/girlfriend, but him wanting all of the benefits of that title. Throughout us being together he would say that he didnt want anyone else, and he didnt want me to be with anyone else but I later found out that it was because he had still been with his "ex" the whole time we were together. We would go on dates, hangout almost every night, I would post pictures of him, he had met my family, but he still had managed to sneak around behind my back and have another woman. I suggest you guarding your heart and making sure there are no under lying things going.
Hugs from:
divine1966
Thanks for this!
divine1966
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