Not telling someone that something they're doing bothers you

I play it by ear My usual pattern is to tolerate the bothersome behavior because I feel guilty complaining. Then when I can't stand it anymore I usually yell at them very angrily . Yes I realize its a terrible way to handle the situation. I'd like to work with my therapist on a much fairer solution for whoever I'm dealing with and me.

I am the same way. I worry that I will bother people by complaining. Which I have done but in other ways. Also I have tolerated someoneÂ’s crap for long periods of time too before saying something, although I didnÂ’t yell at them though.

Yes, same here. I've learned to stand up for myself more, but I feel guilty about doing so. When I'm put in that position again, I'll think back to how guilty I felt the last time I stood up for myself, and that stops me. Ugh.....

If only there was a training course for something like this, lol.

I have a history of not being able to speak up when my feelings are being hurt by friends or other people. I still have a lot of difficulty doing things in real time, but when I have time to reflect i can usually compose something for the next time we speak.

I was recently dumped in the middle of an outing when the person got a phone call and decided to meet their other friend instead of stay with me. We had just finished lunch and had plans to go to the park on one of the nice days. It wasn't until I got home that i was able to text her that my feelings were hurt by what she did. But you can't unring that bell. I learned that I was her backup friend and haven't spoken to her since. Stopped texting too. I think that 6 year friendship is over.

well done. dont ever let people use you

I disagree, not everyone knows what they are doing is wrong...it might be something that irritates YOU...not them. and after a while it just makes you crazy. so the ball is in your court. either put up with it or tell them stop.

people don't have spy scopes into other folks heads. they can't be aware at all times of what irks others. sure some stuff is obvious but others are not. regardless, if something another person does bothers you and you don't say anything about it, well any suffering that occurs you own.
they may have no idea they are even doing something annoying..and at that point the ball goes to their court.