[sadboihoursagain]

So. i’ve known this guy for a little over a year now and we are best friends. he lives in another state, but we all have a big internet friend group and we’ve all gotten along and never have had any fights or anything. a few months into our friendship i noticed he was flirting with me but i thought it was playful so i did it back and it went on for a little while. i found our he was poly and he started dating one person from our friend group and then he ended up getting 2 more boyfriends but would still flirt with me. i wanted to start something but talked to some irl friends and thought it would be for the best if i waited until i met him in person. we video call almost everyday and i’ve caught feelings, if he notices somethings off about me he immediately texts me and asks what wrong and if he can help. his very caring and so similar to me in so many ways so it makes us great friends. now that it’s over a year of knowing each other we were talking about getting and apartment together which i’m so totally cool with and personally can’t wait. but know that i keep getting these feelings for him i’m afraid to talk to him about my feelings...i’m not poly, i get jealous easily, and i have commitment issues. i also am close friends with his boyfriend and i don’t want him to be hurt by me dating his bf as well...i’m so afraid that if i do tell him that he will be disappointed in me or that if we start a relationship and do start living together that i will shut down and break things off and that he won’t want anything to do with me anymore. i don’t want to ruin things between us. i care for him so so much that i want to change things and go farther with him but also don’t want to be restricted and ruin everything... i don’t know yet if i can see a future with him cus i’ve never really thought about a future relationship (like getting married and stuff) and i don’t know how i feel about that and the fact that he’s poly...i just really don’t know what to do please help...

[Fighter4ever]

Hey!

Had a read through but my voices are screaming at me so it’s hard to concentrate.

I think...nothing ventured nothing gained? Sounds like he likes you and you like him...at least that’s the vibe I’m getting...if you did try and it didn’t work out...could you still be friends?

I know ppl say you ‘can’t be friends with an ex’ but I am and so is my little sister...she is actually friends with her fiancée’s ex...the three of them are friends...but I digress...I think it works.

But you know the whole situation, what is your heart and headtelling you?

[MickeyCheeky]

The final decision is up to you, @sadboihoursagain. If you don't like the idea of a poly relationship then it's best to tell him from the start and to not continue further. Just be honest and upfront to him. That's the best way to go about it in my opinion. The rest is something that can be worked on and discussed later but that aspect needs to be discussed right away. Please talk to him. Communication is a FUNDAMENTAL aspect in ALL relationships after all! Welcome to this WONDERFUL Forums by the way! PLEASE MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME AND FEEL FREE TO PM ANYTIME IF YOU NEED ADVICE AND SUPPORT! I AM SURE ALL THE OTHER WISE, WONDERFUL POSTERS GLADLY and WONDERFULLY HELP YOU OUT IF YOU JUST ASK! Feel free to contact the Admins and Moderators as well to clarify ANY DOUBTS YOU MAY BE HAVING AT THE MOMENT! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @sadboihoursagain, Your Friend, Your Family, Your Friends and ALL Of Your Loved Ones! Please do keep fighting and do keep rocking as much as you possibly can like you're already WONDERFULLY DOING ALL AND ENTIRELY BY YOURSELF AND ALL AND ENTIRELY ON YOUR OWN!