My Bipolar girlfriend had a 6 month affair. How to move forward and make it work?

Hello there,

So my girlfriend who was initially diagnosed with Anexity and Dipression just got caught having had a 6 month affair with another man.

Now after all this we went to the doctor beucase she become somewhat nonfunctional after I found out. It turns out her previous diagnosis was incorrect. She's now been diagnosed with Bipolar II. Which means she's been on the wrong medication for the last 6 years.

She got caught because I accidentally saw a few pornographic of pictures of them on her phone.

Now that she's on new meds, she seems a lot more stable and calmer. She is very apologetic and has accepted that what she did was wrong.

She continually tells me that she loves me and honestly I still love her too. I am completely willing to give this relationship a 2nd chance.

I need advice on how our relationship should be moving forward.

Giving her a 2nd chance is not my fear. My fear is not wanting to go through the same kind of issues all over again.

Any advice on how we should move forward will truly help.

Feedback for me on how I should approach this moving forward and what you guys think she may need from me would be wonderful.

Thanks.
Hope I get response

Hello Lala Land: I believe this is your second post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central.

Here are links to 4 articles on the subject of Bipolar II , from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully) may be of help:

What Bipolar II Disorder Really Looks & Feels Like

How Bipolar II is Different | Bipolar Laid Bare

Bipolar II: Anger, Angst & Understanding

What Helps Individuals with Bipolar II Disorder Successfully Manage Their Illness

And then here's a link to a blog, here on PC, titled: "Surviving Infidelity" plus links to 3 additional articles on the subject:

Surviving Infidelity | A blog about moving on from infidelity in your relationship

https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-...idelity/?all=1

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...delity-part-i/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...dium=popular17

My best wishes to you both. I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

Welcome, @Lala Land! I think you're already behaving in a WONDERFUL way by forgiving her and bringing her to a Doctor! Now that her Diagnosis is correct, the BEST thing you can do is just support her, be near her and remind her that you Love Her. Other than that there isn't much else you can do in my opinion because she needs to do the work for herself. It's good that she's taking her Meds, but is she seeing a Therapist as well? I feel like that could help A LOT! If you want to know more about Bipolar so that you'll be able to better recognize her symptoms and eventual episodes she may be having, my advice would be to buy some books and consult the Doctor she's seeing on the matter, possibly together with her if she wants so. Her Doctor certainly knows her Condition much better than anyone else here so that may be a good start and hopefully he'll be able to provide GREAT ADVICE for You as well! I'd also suggest Couple Counselling if it's necessary, possibly with a Therapist who is ALSO experienced with Bipolar II as well! Finally, since you're here, it won't hurt you to bring your question to the Bipolar Forums as well: https://psychcentralforums.com/bipolar/ Many people struggling with Bipolar, many of them also married or currently in a relationship, post there and they're ALL WONDERFUL PEOPLE so it CERTAINLY won't hurt you to try to Post your Concerns there! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING, MY AWESOME, DEAR, KIND, SWEET, GENEROUS, WISE AND WONDERFUL FRIEND! Feel free to PM me ANYTIME when you need Advice and Support! I am SURE plenty of others will also GLADLY HELP YOU OUT AS WELL if you just ASK! Please do keep fighting and please do keep rocking as much as you possibly can like you're already WONDERFULLY doing ALL and ENTIRELY BY YOURSELF and ALL and ENTIRELY ON YOUR OWN! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You and Your Girlfriend, @Lala Land, Your Family, Your Friends and ALL Of Your Loved Ones who ALSO Love You back as much as YOU LOVE THEM!

I am unclear as to what being bipolar has to do with cheating on someone.

I am with sarahsweet here. Perhaps maybe unmedicated bipolar disorder caused her to be unstable and maybe you think she made impulsive decisions during her manic episode. Maybe.

But affair lasted 6 months. Not one night stand. And only ended because she got caught, not because she was remorseful or something.. I don’t know how bipolar disorder could explain or cause that.

6 months affair takes a lot of consistent effort not only effort to maintain but also effort to hide it from one’s partner. Does bipolar disorder causes that? I doubt it.

It’s your choice to stay with unfaithful partner but I am not sure why it’s matter that she has bipolar disorder