[Pandastuff]

I am manipulative and toxic and I want to change to better myself and to not lose the relationship I have with my girlfriend. The only problem is I don’t know how . I don’t even realize when I’m being manipulative. I need help and tips

[MrGuermo]

Originally Posted by Pandastuff

I am manipulative and toxic and I want to change to better myself and to not lose the relationship I have with my girlfriend. The only problem is I don’t know how . I don’t even realize when I’m being manipulative. I need help and tips

I am feeling toxic/sadistic inside, but for people i am very nice, especially for ppl that matter to me. I dont see a need to manipulate. I think some ppl just are born like that. They dont feel an emotional attachment, have little empathy etc.
But still you can be good for people, try to put a some effort to this.

BTW why u manipulate ppl, what you trying to get out of them ? Just curious

[Mendingmysoul]

Wow,congratulations. The moment you recognised what is wrong with you,the betterment of you is already in progress

[Pandastuff]

Originally Posted by MrGuermo

I am feeling toxic/sadistic inside, but for people i am very nice, especially for ppl that matter to me. I dont see a need to manipulate. I think some ppl just are born like that. They dont feel an emotional attachment, have little empathy etc.
But still you can be good for people, try to put a some effort to this.

BTW why u manipulate ppl, what you trying to get out of them ? Just curious

Well I don’t realize when I’m doing it . I realize afterwards that I did it . I guess I want them to feel the emotion I feel.

[divine1966]

It’s great that you recognize that you need help with something. Are you seeing a therapist? It’s hard to advice you unless we know the details of your behaviors. Good therapist can also help you to get to the bottom of your behaviors (often stems from upbringing etc)

[Pandastuff]

Originally Posted by divine1966

It’s great that you recognize that you need help with something. Are you seeing a therapist? It’s hard to advice you unless we know the details of your behaviors. Good therapist can also help you to get to the bottom of your behaviors (often stems from upbringing etc)

I have seen multiple therapist and I know exactly why I’m like this . I just fall back into bad habits occasionally.

[MrGuermo]

Originally Posted by Pandastuff

Well I don’t realize when I’m doing it . I realize afterwards that I did it . I guess I want them to feel the emotion I feel.

Try to be more aware of your behavior and try to catch the moment when you are being manipulative.

But it seems like you are a good person. You dont want to consciously hurt anyone emotionally and making this thread showing that you care about people.

You have good intentions and it counts the most. I think maybe you are exaggeratinng a bit. Remember that everyone sometimes manipulate unconsciously in some way and its nothing bad.

having good intentions and trying to be good, its enough i suppose and try to be more aware of your behaviour/words. Good luck my friend

[Pandastuff]

Originally Posted by MrGuermo

Try to be more aware of your behavior and try to catch the moment when you are being manipulative.

But it seems like you are a good person. You dont want to consciously hurt anyone emotionally and making this thread showing that you care about people.

You have good intentions and it counts the most. I think maybe you are exaggeratinng a bit. Remember that everyone sometimes manipulate unconsciously in some way and its nothing bad.

having good intentions and trying to be good, its enough i suppose and try to be more aware of your behaviour/words. Good luck my friend

Thank you and maybe I am but as of now I’m no longer seeing my girlfriend. I love her and I’m trying to fix this but I don’t know how . We are taking time off and will not text or call each other until the 14th to see how we are feeling about each other and what way we should proceed with our relationship.

[Iloivar]

Originally Posted by Pandastuff

I have seen multiple therapist and I know exactly why I’m like this . I just fall back into bad habits occasionally.

My impression is that the therapists have helped since now the bad habits only arise occassionally, is that correct?

And as others have said, it might allow other posters to help you better if you shared what happened between you and your gf. But of course, only if you feel comfortable.

[Pandastuff]

Originally Posted by Iloivar

My impression is that the therapists have helped since now the bad habits only arise occassionally, is that correct?

And as others have said, it might allow other posters to help you better if you shared what happened between you and your gf. But of course, only if you feel comfortable.

Well let me tell a long story short. On Friday we spent the entire day together it felt as if we were a married couple we were having fun and laughing at each other basically having a great time. Later on that afternoon we went to a high school football game (we aren’t in high school anymore). We were fine up until a point and something changed she got into a mood and I tried to not care. We did that all night we tried being happy but the vibe was off between us . Later that night we texted and I tried guilt tripping her . I didn’t intend on doing it and I didn’t know I tried doing it until she told me that I had . We talked but I guess all the voices and feelings made me explode and the only way I saw an out to the bomb that had gone in my head was breaking up . The moment I did it I regretted it. I had broken up with her because I exploded and didn’t know how to talk about it .

[sarahsweets]

What is it you do that makes you manipulative and toxic?