[marysdaughter]

Through no perceptible fault of my own, I have not sustained a long-term or deeper type relationship with another person for over ten years. I have been celibate (not quite by choice) for 14 years. I have not had a romantic relationship for 24 years. I am somewhat ordinary in appearance, I am elderly now. I did not like dating internet services, nor could afford membership. Do you have any answers for me?

[bpcyclist]

Hey, marysdaughter. I don't have any big answers for you. Do you have any hobbies? Have you ever tried a meetup group?

[Skeezyks]

Hello marysdaughter: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central.

You mentioned you're elderly. And you asked if anyone has any answers to your lack of a sustained long-term relationship. Unfortunately, I don't believe I do. However here are links to 5 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that may be of interest:

Senior Dating: A Healthy Choice

Dating Later in Life

Finding Love after 60

Single Women over 50 – What's it Like to Date

12 Depression Busters for Seniors

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

When i see loner i think someone who thinks for themselves. I see women online on dating sites who cannot even be alone on their profile. They seem to believe they are more attractive surrounded by people. It's a marketing thing. I know one who brings the kitchen sink on dates.

In my opinion people who cannot be alone are afraid to face themselves and run away to all sorts of groups to hide. I would love to meet an individual who can think for themselves

There must be dating for eldetly OP if dating is your goal. I have seen elderly on dating sites. I know you don't want online dating but there must be other ways. A magazine for the elderly often have lonely heart adverts. There is one in Ireland called ireland's own which had such ads

Good wishes welcome to PC

[marysdaughter]

Hi,
Thank you. I appreciate your suggestion. I loved Ireland on a visit.

[marysdaughter]

Thank you. You, by far, have given me some direction. It was kind of you to take the time to refer me to those articles. I am going to try dating again in 2020! Happy New Year! Mary

Originally Posted by marysdaughter

Thank you. You, by far, have given me some direction. It was kind of you to take the time to refer me to those articles. I am going to try dating again in 2020! Happy New Year! Mary

Happy New year to you too. Do date.Why not? Good luck

[Be Still]

Hi there marysdaughter. Here to add my 2 cents if you don’t mind. I am what you call a loner too, but it is by choice. I used to have many friends and a busy social life, so much so that it made me physically and spiritually sick. The one thing I’ve found about isolation is that I get to define ME and marinade myself in ME until I am ready to share this Self to the world. When you are ready to share yourself with the world, you will offer others so much value because you have spent this time figuring the world out on your own. You will have fresh ideas, conversations and depth to add to others’ lives. Therefore, there is no need to fear connecting to others and building intimacy with friends for the first time because you hold a lot of value and it will be clear to you to see where and with whom you should invest your value in. You are in control. Hit the Refresh button on your relationships. Have fun and be blessed in 2020!

I feel like I've been a loner for more than ten years and the last date I had was longer ago than for you. I didn't choose that way of life.

I'm pretty much up there in age, too. I don't see any prospects with any woman coming up and I feel convinced that it's not going to happen for me. I had tried all kinds on line dating services and meet-up groups and they never panned out for me.

I would like to have someone in my life, but I guess I'll be OK without someone. If I can't have a woman, at least a good friend would help. I have one friend now, but he's very old and has limits. I feel like I could do much better than having him in my life. It's hard for me to make friends because of the combination of my personality; and so many seem to be set in their lives that they don't need me. There are lots of times that it's OK for me to be alone. But then there are certain times when it doesn't feel good.

[downandlonely]

Hi @marysdaughter and welcome to PC! Personally, I have given up on dating, but that's because I realized I am happier single. If a partner is what you want, I wish you the best of luck in finding one.