Should I get back with my ex?

Me and my boyfriend had been dating two years. When we first started dating I was at a very bad place in my life and he treated me very poorly and messed with my head from the start. He changed over time and became my favorite person, whom I was deeply in love with. He turned his life around and completely changed just for me. He was an incredible boyfriend. He was amazing to me and made me love life which was a big deal because I’ve had severe depression my whole life. A year later, he has started to turn back to some of his old tendencies. I don’t like to say this, but he would definitely be labeled mentally abusive, like he was in the beginning, but worse. I know there’s been times when I haven’t treated him the best either...because of how crappy my life has been I think I have taken things out on him sometimes without meaning to. I like to think I’m a great person and a very loving girlfriend, though. I have grown as a person and I’ve made sure to treat him as I’d like to be treated, but he doesn’t do the same for me. He acts as if he doesn’t consider my feelings or care how his words affect me. He’ll get angry about the smallest thing and yell and call me names, later he’ll usually apologize and soon he’ll act like nothing happened. I think he’s bipolar or has some other serious mental health issue, and I want to help him. Even though he has treated me really crappy and made my depression so much worse, I think he has the potential to be absolutely amazing. I want to help him find the best version of himself. I am working on myself right now and it’s going good. I want us to grow together. I want him to be happy but I don’t know if he even wants me anymore. He says he needs time before we try again, acts nice to me, then he won’t text me and acts mean. He said that he wants to get counseling and work on getting better, but not long after, he said he doesn’t care and he doesn’t want to try to change. I’m not sure what I should do anymore. We broke up about a month ago. We still talk and we’ve argued several times since we broke up. I want things to work but I don’t know if I should want that. None of my friends like him and I don’t tell my family much about my personal life but from what they know, they aren’t huge fans of him any more. They were before they knew how bad our fights were. We both got physical with each other a few times. He’d never hurt me physically on purpose but he’d be verbally so horrible I’d do things like push him and tell him to leave, and he’d push me back. And once I slapped him, he did nothing back, just tried to calm me down. I’d never do it again, I felt horrible afterwards and I believe I’m a different person now. I feel like we can be so amazing, and there were times when our relationship was perfect. If it was perfect at times, couldn’t it at some point, be all the time? I feel like we both have had hard times in life and maybe if we both worked on ourselves we could be so happy together. I don’t know if I’m wasting my time worrying about this.

There is nothing YOU can do to change or fix HIS problems. He is displaying a pattern of behavior that shows he can be abusive. BELIEVE what people do and say, don't stick your head in the sand thinking "I think "I" can fix this and make it perfect".

You are being groomed to give into his control. This always ends badly and it's more important YOU find out why you are willing to accept this kind of behavior. If you friends don't like him, PAY ATTENTION to that, they can see him for what he is and HE knows it. When people that care about you express concerns LISTEN.

YOU cant change him. Ex's are Ex's for a reason. He has shown you who he is, an abuser. If your friend told you about being treated this way be someone what would you tell her/him? You would say No ...

Move forward with your life

Relationships are hard. That said, relationships that work are not this hard and are not ever abusive. I hope you are able to advocate for yourself and move on. There is someone good and kind out there for you.

You should not date people with the hopes of changing them or because they have potential.

It seems like a very toxic relationship all around. I say move on and try to find happiness on your own or eventually, with someone else. You cannot change a person, or fall in love with their potential. He is who he is now, so either accept everything he is now, or don't accept what he has to give you and move on.

it is a decision only you can make. if he is an ex..that should give you a reason to think.

He’d never hurt me physically on purpose but he’d be verbally so horrible I’d do things like push him and tell him to leave, and he’d push me back. And once I slapped him, he did nothing back, just tried to calm me down. I’d never do it again, I felt horrible afterwards and I believe I’m a different person now. I

seems to me that there is a lot of thought that needs to be given on both sides. you say he would never hurt you but yet you have slapped him.

much thought. both sides.