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#1
Jun 23, 2020, 06:56 PM
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Hi I am 19 and never really been in a true relationship. I've dated a few guys and was really interested at first then it's like I got bored and left. I have done that to a few girls I just talked to online too. I am also more interested in girls.
I would really like to be in a nice relationship and I am talking (as friends) to this one girl online she lives in a different country but plans on moving to the US and then we will meet. However she says that she could possibly want to date me but she doesn't know until we meet in real life. What if she thinks I am completely ugly in real life though? I don't think I am that ugly but in real life no girl has ever been interested in me that I know of. But then again I was homeschooled and now I only work. I don't do anything else but I will be going to college in the spring. I have been very introverted my whole life. I would like to be more extroverted. I am a girl too by the way. In a relationship I don't want to have sex in the beginning I've also never done that before. And would not want to do it with a guy. Maybe a girl if I'm comfortable enough. So that is why I label myself demisexual. However much I find people attractive if I were with them in real life I wouldn't want to have sex unless I really got close to them and maybe even then not at all. That is why I think maybe asexual. I really don't want to be single that much longer but at the same time I wouldn't want anyone to get to close to me. If someone expresses affection towards me I get angry a little because I feel like in a way I don't deserve it.
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If I love you was a promise would you break it if you're honest? |
 mote.of.soul
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 Skeezyks
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#2
Jun 24, 2020, 12:38 PM
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Hi and welcome to PC, LonelyWithYou.
So, your online friend doesn't yet know what you look like? I wonder if sending her a pic or two of yourself might be a good thing? Then at least you'll know what she thinks before she meets you in real life? I don't know. I'm 51 but I've never done anything like that before myself. But maybe that's what I'd do. |
| LonelyWithYou
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#3
Jun 24, 2020, 02:08 PM
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Actually we both know what we look like cause we did send pictures. And we plan on calling later this next month. Thanks though!
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If I love you was a promise would you break it if you're honest? |
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#4
Jun 24, 2020, 03:12 PM
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I can't really offer anything in the way of personal advice on this. However you mentioned thinking you may be asexual. Did you know there is an asexuality forum on the web? Here's a link:
The Asexual Visibility and Education Network | asexuality.org And then, also, here are links to 4 articles, from PC's archives, on the subject of attachment styles that may be of some interest with regard to how you react when someone expresses affection toward you: What Is Attachment and Why Is It Important? What's My Attachment Style and Why Does It Matter? What Is an Avoidant Attachment Style and How Can I Change It? How to Change Your Attachment Style 
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
| LonelyWithYou
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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