I know I'm wasting my time but...

When I fall for somebody I fall HARD... I've fallen for someone though that has no romantic interest in me, who's values differ from mine, and who has a criminal past... I know this is not good... I don't know where to start though with meeting someone more appropriate... Sigh

Well, if this person has no romantic interest, it's a closed door. Detach yourself from him if he's a distraction and leave room in your head (and heart) for someone else. I know it sucks. Take care of you!

I'm facing something similar. I have hid from the world, shrinking from relationships. My addiction to Sex and relationships has changed every thing about me! But with every action, and leap of faith something magical happens. We learn! I too have fallen for guys and then had sex with in a few minutes of meeting them. And every step I take towards that life, and that type of connection, I shrink. I don't know about you, but I like to grow. Growing takes trust. What if you approach this issue with curiosity. Ask yourself, What is this accomplishing? What do I want? What does the other want? Does this meet my values?

I"m guessing you may not know what you want from a partner/relationship. I know I don't. Past traumas influence how we see each other. When I sat down and wrote about what I want in life, I found clarity. Then I set out for and made small goals. Making small changes every day, leads to magnificent results. And eventually I hope to find my partner/husband. But I need to be the right person, and grow from my past.

How does this resinate with you? And remember to care for yourself as you go through different relationships.
You can have what you want, and it takes work to get there. What are you willing to do?

Did you recently meet someone? Is that what prompted this thread?

How about you look for people with similar interests. Join bird watchers and Audubon society, volunteer etc Some links below.

Go Birding - Michigan Audubon

Go birdwatching with a Birdingpal from Michigan.

I've talked about him before on here... I seem to be getting too involved in his life with no romance in return, with him wanting to spend large amounts of time with me, but him always commenting hes not romantically interested... I mean the friendship is great, but at the same time I find him a handsome guy that I'm attracted to... Sigh...

Oh I see. He set a clear boundary with you, when he told you he just wants to be friends. You need to respect it. You need to respect it. Pining for him is very unhealthy. Nothing wrong with thinking your friend is attractive, but if you’re only friends with him hoping he’ll change his mind you’re going to be disappointed. Sorry.

I'm sure you value him as a friend, too, and if he's unaware about these feelings, you may run the risk of coming off as deceitful, hanging out with him for the wrong reasons.

I wonder if it's worthwhile being honest and say something like, "I really appreciate you as my good friend. I wish we could unfriend-zone each other, since we get along so well and have a lot in common."

You never know? It'll give him an opportunity to consider, at the very least. If it's a dead NO, well, you must be pretty fun to hang out with!

He's made it clear he's starting clear of the mentally ill girls because of past experience... Before he found out about my mental disorders he was real interested....

Sadly birding events in this area have been cancelled due to covid... So yeah...

Wait till pandemics over but check out some birding groups online

I just got done talking to him FaceTime... He wants to take me to an expensive restaurant for my birthday next month, he's buying me a ring.... (Watch him say it's just friendship) and he says this winter or sometime next year he wants to take a vacation to Florida with me.... Then he made kissy faces at me... But I'm not his girlfriend??? He keeps confusing me like that...

Definitely sounds interested. Play it by ear for now. He may be coming around and willing to step things up.

He sounds like a player. He tells you that he isn’t interested in you romantically yet he makes vague promises how he will buy you things and will take you places. He keeps you hooked and plays with your feelings.

Now it's suddenly over... See, he's on probation..... Long story but they said he targets people with developmental or mental disabilities and takes advantage of them... It got out he's hanging around me a lot... Now I can't be near him because they went as far as alerting his landlord and saying I'm not allowed there anymore... Yikes!

He is dangerous. So he is in probation through courts. Targets vulnerable people and takes advantage of them? He isn’t someone you need to be around. Protect yourself please and block him from all contacts

Cut off all contact with him immediately. Do not contact him anymore.

If you truly want to associate with someone 'more appropriate' then you need to stop going after the same, unsavoury, types. They will only use you and hurt you.

Only you can change your pattern. Make the decision and act on it.