When someone agrees with someone else about something just to avoid conflict

Does anyone ever feel the need to agree with someone about something just to avoid confrontation? I will admit, in some instances, I do. Especially if the person has the tendency to get mad at anyone who disagrees with them, I will just say I agree with them just to please them. Not a good thing to do really, but sometimes it happens. And it can be about anything. I've even seen it happen where someone may ask another person if they dislike someone else and they may say yes just to please the person who asked the question. But in reality, they may like someone just fine. It can come off as two faced at first but sometimes it is a general desire to not cause conflict.

I know some people like that. They will say they dislike someone just to make someone else happy, but in fact, they actually like the person they said they dislike and will even secretly feel bad about saying something negative. For me, I just say I don't have an opinion in order to avoid conflict because I don't want to say bad stuff about someone I like but at the same time, depending on who is asking me, I don't want them to get extremely angry. Usually in cases like that, those are the kinds of people I like to stay away from anyway. Or at least avoid mentioning the person they dislike. I'm not going to say I dislike someone just to please someone else. Now if it is something that has nothing to do with another person, depending on what it is, I will just agree just to avoid confrontation. How do you deal with this kind of situation? Just wondered.

Actually, a lot of people choose to distance from potentially toxic conversations or problems they see others experiencing. I have experienced that many times when I was treated badly.

One time I was being treated badly by a customer who did not want to pay me and was giving me a hard time. The neighbors who were friendly and nice to me quietly walked away. After the jerk walked away the people told me that yes the guy was a jerk and they prefer to avoid him.

I have had many experiences where my older sister acted out and even raged and other people literally distanced as they already noticed how badly she can behave.

During my life I have noticed a lot of people distance in different ways to avoid getting involved with conflict. I have even noticed that behavior in other primates. So it’s reasonable to think this is part of normal instinct.

Yep I totally agree. I think it's good to create distance to prevent yourself from being dragged into drama. And I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I agree with the advice to keep out of the dramas.

My own recent experiences have finally taught me that those you trust most (family) are often the biggest culprits. My mother is a fine example. Everyone she's ever known has "done her wrong". Then my brother, her favourite, can do and say exactly what he likes and the sun still shines out of him. As a result he's now an obnoxious, overbearing, arrogant person. Of course, people love him because they only ever see the fun loving side.

I remember my older niece's partner telling this story about his mother. She asked if she looked fat in a new top. He replied that actually, yes, she did. She then complained that she wanted him to say something nice. His response was why say something that isn't true, you asked my opinion and I gave it.

Yes I totally agree that family can be the biggest culprits! In fact, I am actually more open with my friends about stuff than family members. I don't trust them since all they do is judge. If something is bothering me, I don't tell them, instead, I make it look like I'm perfectly fine all the time. I'm more willing to share things with friends. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Unfortunately, as much as people deny it, there is definitely favoritism among families. And yes, I agree that it's a good idea to stay away from anyone who may be about to cause drama.

This is something I experienced before I got sober. I was a people pleaser in that I would go along with someone out of fear of them not liking me. Since I got sober I am much more sure of myself. Politics is the only thing I have trouble with now. Before the world went to hell in a hand basket it was always that you could have different political beliefs and set them aside for the sake of a relationship. Now, its hard for me to overlook when someone believes something so opposite to what I believe in. I will avoid all I can when it comes to talking about it and have warned friends- "no politics" but if they violate that guideline over and over I have had to cut ties.

Wow.....never in my life have I agreed to avoid conflict. I learned how to deal with conflict & stand strong from as early in life as I can remember.

After enough conflicts with a person I will avoid getting into those kinds of conversations with them & if that doesn't work, avoid them completely but not until they fully KNOW I disagree with them.

That is great that you are sober now and that you no longer go along with those people. I can understand why you went along out of fear of being disliked. In the past, I've agreed with people on some stuff just to prevent confrontation myself. Especially politics or religion. I hate talking about that stuff and I know how mean people can get so I usually just agree with whatever views they have. At most, maybe I'll say I'm in the middle which is the case at times but other times, I just go along with it. Hate doing that but sometimes I feel like I have no choice.

Yep. I avoid it as much as possible too.

I think there are other mature ways to handle conflict instead of direct confrontation. Direct confrontation could be unsafe, could cause problems at work or in other social situations. Yes there are times when avoiding confrontational person is the best option. No need to always engage, it doesn’t mean one needs to go along. When possible I prefer to be selective

Yeah true. That makes sense and I agree.