So angry: Flaking friend.

I have had ONE friend for about 10 years. She is always trying to intimate that we are friends when I am the one stating we are really friendly co workers. I say this because it isn't really true that we are friends, i mean we don't do things outside of work. She did come to my parents wakes and such. I have been there for phone calls at 2 Am etc for her.

So when I had a positive fit test and needed a colonoscopy, I had a choice, I could call a service OR call her.

So I gave her an e-mail saying I needed a personal favor and she called me instantly. And I asked if she would drive me to the appointment and home. The only hitch is that the appointment is early she will have to be up early (5:30) to get here.

She said yes and then noted she could just stay over. But I told her that wouldn't work because the night before I have to get up at 2 am to take the prep and there is no way she wouldn't be disturbed.

Then she started souring. She told me she was very busy at work and she would think about it later. I don't know if that was a refusal or she would just think about the particulars later. So here is the weekend... 2 days before, 1 day before I have to start taking the prep... I haven't heard from her. At all. There is enough to worry about in this situation. She doesn't know where I live (I moved recently) and so she has to find out where I am. I cannot take the prep and have her cancel at the last moment with a strained excuse. But her lack of interest makes me concerned she is going to do exactly that. I would call her but if I do and she does intend on showing up she will probably be mad.

I am already angry about this.. but I know that if she flakes on me not only will our relationship be completely over... but I will be even more angry and bitter about co workers. Right now I am pretty tired of co workers disappointing me / stabbing me in the back, but, this will really do it. I am already angry that i have had to worry about it.

Are you able to call and pay for a taxi service? If it were me I'd do that instead.

You stated you don't consider her a friend but more if a friendly coworker. Then in your title post you wrote "flaking friend." So I wonder if you're confused for some reason, about the nature if your relationship, and what it actually is to you.

The subject line is a mild summary of the post so it was clearly explained IN the post. The relationship is quasi friendship. She has insisted on making it more than a co worker friendship by coming to personal events and calling me at 2 Am. But I have done enough so that you cannot say we are just co workers. This has always been at her urging. So of course, I assumed that if I did need something I could count on her. Besides I think it is just human decency to either do it or give me the excuse immediately.

No a taxi isn't allowed. They make me have someone there or they won't do the procedure.

Sorry to hear that. This friend sounds like she’ll probably end up flaking out in you. Shes not an actual friend.

I’ve dealt with lots of flakes in the past. Do you know anyone who’s reliable at all? Can you ask a family member or a neighbor to help you out instead?

Choose someone who’s very reliable as you need someone to be there for you. If you have no one else though, try bribing her with a lunch or dinner at a place that she likes. Most people will do favors if thete is something in it for them.

Or offer her money. Let her know that this procedure can’t be done without someone present to drive you home or just be there for you.

I’d definitely try to make more reliable friends soon if I were you. Try joining meetup. Its free to join. Theres lots of online zoom events on there now and maybe a few outdoor ones as well.

You’re relying on her to much. Her response doesn’t sound good at all. It’d be better to ask a reliable person to help you out. They don’t need to be your friend, just someone who’d be willing to help you out.

Ok she says she will be here...

Great! Did you offer to take her out if she helped you?

She showed like a trooper. She was great.

I just ordered her a wine and truffle gift package and sent it to her house.

Faith Restored.

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Great!

When people stab you in the back, just remain focused and set boundaries but also have an open heart. It could be assumption, so you should not dwell on backstabbing. I pretend i do not know any better.

She thinks you are using her.