And it bothers me. My therapist suggested that maybe “I have no needs when it comes to having a partner and I should think it through… what do I want?”. And I got stuck.

I’m doing great in general, my dreams slowly become my reality. My career prospects are looking good and we’re talking about my dream job, I shaped up, got myself new clothes and I'm getting a lot of attention from women, I'm doing good with money despite covid crisis and more and more. I’m not bragging here, I it is the way it is.

The path was pretty messed up though, I was a super d … ck to myself. I was living up to impossible standards and I did well. I’m more human now.

As I said many times I never expected any kind of help from anybody and I don’t need to be loved, I don’t need you to talk to me or to support me in a struggle. I'll be fine, I love struggle.

Sometimes I miss people and I want to hang out. If I work 24/7 at home, this need may appear once or twice (in 7 days). I love to impress people. I love winning and I'm good at it. That’s pretty much everything I feel as of now.

I don't know but I feel like I could do more good if I was out there, meeting new people. But I get bored so quickly and I'm not into toying with human beings, that's for sure. Actually I'm hoping for any piece of an advice but I have no expectations, as always. Appreciate you reading this. Thanks.

[NatalieJastrow]

Can relate. With the advent of covid I am surprised and a little concerned how little I don't need people. I am largely ambivalent about going near anyone else or talking to them. Sometimes i will pick up the phone and put it back down, because I know, deep down... nothing good will come from "socializing".

But at the same time I am surprised and a little concerned at how I have fallen off all radar. How no one does ask about me or check in. How easy it is to be completely and utterly alone and have no conversations with anyone else... at all for days.

Am I still here? I am still on this earth? Somedays it is hard to even know.

In some ways I love struggle too. I have learned that asking others to help usually results in 1. them failing to help and 2. keeping me from the joy of figuring out how to solve the problem and actually succeeding. Often, and maybe I am jinxing myself, if I just break things downs into manageable small parts I can handle things.

[MsLady]

Originally Posted by MisterPaul

My therapist suggested that maybe “I have no needs when it comes to having a partner and I should think it through… what do I want?”. And I got stuck.

I was living up to impossible standards and I did well. I don’t need to be loved, I don’t need you to talk to me or to support me in a struggle. I'll be fine, I love struggle.

Sometimes I miss people and I want to hang out. If I work 24/7 at home, this need may appear once or twice (in 7 days). I love to impress people. I love winning and I'm good at it.

But I get bored so quickly..

It seems your need for people is to serve a function that is self-fulfilling. You want people to entertain you when YOU'RE lonely.. to compete against you so YOU win.. to validate YOUR feelings when they're impressed by YOU.. etc.

I see you're not interested in giving much in return, according to this post (I'm not familiar with your story). I see you're not interested in forming meaningful relationships and maybe it's because that would require effort and a more selfless approach, on your part.

I see you get bored easily and like to impress others, and probably already know that once you're in a committed relationship, you will be expected to put effort into it, for someone else. It's also likely your partner will be less impressed by you when they realize how you operate.

I see relationships as a lot of work. It's a learning curve to meet someone else's needs. It takes time and effort to listen to someone else's input, life experiences, and ideas. We do this because we care enough to consider what they have to say.. to be open to their thinking, even if we disagree. I see you're not at all interested in any of this, unless there's some momentary reward for you.

How you live your life is not wrong, as long as no one is getting hurt in the process. It's ok to not want people or have them only in small spurts of time, if you're clear about your expectations and boundaries.

As your therapist said, if you don't have a need or desire to be with a partner, than don't sweat it. Lonely? There are many competitive things/hobbies you can do to get attention and void those momentary feelings of loneliness.

Originally Posted by MsLady

As your therapist said, if you don't have a need or desire to be with a partner, than don't sweat it. Lonely? There are many competitive things/hobbies you can do to get attention and void those momentary feelings of loneliness.

I have plenty of those. The thing is it's my prime time in life. I feel like I'm missing something and I'll regret it later.

[herbal tea]

Human is a social creature, and no matter how busy he is with other things, he still needs to communicate with other people. For somebody, this need is bigger, for others less, but it still exists.
I feel it on myself when I almost never leave the house during the quarantine. I also work remotely. I communicate with friends on social networks, but I really miss live converse.
So if you feel that you need to communicate with people, then do not deprive yourself of it.