I trusted him again and I feel SO ashamed

I was talking about the guy from a tv show Tisha mentioned.

But in your case I do not think you should friend zone this dude. You should go no contact. He doesn’t treat you well enough to be in a friend zone

The tv show— Guilty pleasures!

If anyone went with me to a club and ignored me and flaunted other women in front of me, he’d not be anymore friend of mine!

Hi Disney!
I'd also recommend taking time to put down in writing all the bad qualities and ways you are disrespected. It can be VERY helpful when you are tempted to trust him. You are right, he will not change. People like that never truly do (maybe they can fake it for awhile, but their true nature WILL win out.)

Good luck! Rooting for you!

No he doesn’t deserve it, but I didn’t really mean it literal, kind of as a metphor if that makes sense 🤷🏼*♀️

Facts! and apparently he thought he was doing nothing wrong, but I’m not stupid. Maybe he is 🤷🏼*♀️🤦*♀️ I really feel he was trying to get attention even though he says he saw I was having fun, and wanted me to be happy 🙄 I was trying to make the best of it so I was dancing with other people. It’s no coincidence that he was hopping from girl to pathetic girl.

Thanks! It’s sad, because we were close (his words) all BS. He just likes to have his fragile ego constantly boosted. He made it a point to tell me how I gained weight. No sh**! Who didn’t gain weight during the pandemic?? So he will rub his workout efforts in my face all the time. I am not going to allow him to make me gain weight. Which was a big part of the reason I gained weight. Anyhow, as my therapist told me the other day , I need to stay busy & distract myself

In the episode on the tv show I mentioned, Tom tells her she ‘looks like she put on a few pounds!’ Grrrrrr Flush him!

Wow!! He thinks he is gods gift to women or something..yet none of them (not to be mean) are attractive at all. Guess that makes him look like more of a prize in their eyes or something. I have been trying to lose weight, but I have been so stressed so not anymore buddy

It’s not his business who gains weight. Why is he even still a part of your life

This was months ago. I’m not an idiot, I know I need to lose weight, but he’s not perfect either.

The point isn’t that you have or don’t have to lose weight. Even if he himself has perfect weight, unless he is your physician it’s not his place

It’s just a really rude thing to say to someone, especially a man to a woman. It looks poorly for him. YOU may want to lose weight, but it’s rude for anyone else to say it to you.

You know what Trish, thinking about it he would do all kinds of mean things. It’s no reflection of me but rather of his bruised ego & self esteem. I would tell him a million times I would like to go with him to one of the events that his friend (he has connections) would invite him to. Never once did I get invited, and his friends would always ask if I went! I’m sure they found it strange. Then when he went he would post pictures/stories on social media telling his other friend (female) to stop by in the comments. Even went as far as to send me a picture and to brag about how fun it was. Who does this?? Then he would gaslight me like something was wrong with me. I always thought “well maybe I’m overreacting” or too pushy etc..but my gut feeling was right..it was mean and he knew I would react, but I think he did it to keep me hooked and obsessed.

By his words and actions he sounds like only bad news. What did he do to keep you hooked and obsessed?

What he did was, he would keep me guessing by giving me just enough attention to keep me interested. When I would start to pull back, then he starts giving me a lot of attention as if he’s interested. Load of crap. My friend said to tell him to go f himself lol 🤷🏼*♀️ I didn’t but he would deserve it. No wonder he can’t keep a girl

I experienced boyfriends like this when I was in my 20’s (before getting married). My mom would say, “They don’t want you but don’t want anyone else to have you.” Your relationship sounds like this too. Except this is an older man. He doesn’t want to get married. If you want a committed relationship, you need to find someone who wants that too.

Honestly when you described your relationship with him while it was going on you didn’t ever mention him doing anything to get you hooked or showing any attention. Honestly everything he did was to let you know he can’t care less.

You’d go there and stay all weekend cooking or what not and he’d be drinking like a fish either asleep drunk or high from heavy weed smoking or hungover or he had friends over and spend time with them. He ignited your phone calls and texts. You never described proper dating routine that men do when they like a woman.

You said he never took you anywhere or did anything with you or for you. I don’t recall you sharing he showed any attention.

How do you think men show attention? And how do you think other men behave when they show attention? It’s not attention at all

He doesn’t know how to properly date anyone. Even his “crazy” exes. Now I can see why they went ballistic.

You are so right..he doesn’t want anyone else to have me. When we were out at this beach party this guy kept saying how beautiful I am, and he loves me. Granted, he was probably drunk but it was still nice. But he told him to leave me alone.

I am just concerned that what he was doing was enough for you to be interested in him. I hope you’ll not go for guys like him anymore

He knows what a date is. If he never took out you or other exes, not only is that bad on him, but it’s also bad on the women (maybe more so on women who allowed themselves to be treated like they mean nothing.

I had young men take me out, but then not get serious. They’d call again, but inconsistently. Just when I’d meet someone else that I might have clicked if given a chance, they’d show up again and turn my head around, only to distance again. It was the immaturity of a guy who didn’t want to commit (at least not to me). I moved on from that and met someone ‘ready’.

I hope this doesn’t come off too judgy— You made yourself too easy and available by hanging out at his house with no real dating. I hope you learn to not do that again with new men. Forget this guy, regardless. If the only men you are meeting do not ask you for an actual date, you are meeting men of a lifestyle that you should try to elevate yourself above. Look for better quality men. What can you be putting out that you are not attracting men who ask you for a real date?

I just have to have higher standards and not accept less. This guy is just immature. Most men, will not ditch a girl for their guy friends. I couldn’t wrap my head around why he would ditch me like that. But I think he is just beneath me, so he couldn’t possibly comprehend that it’s wrong. I seek a man-a real man. Not a boy pretending to be a man! Quality men just don’t behave like this.

Sorry to damper your hope but have you been to the quality man store lately - it doesn’t exist and neither does a quality man. There are selfish people, selfish people with money and selfish people with more money. I am loosing faith in humanity, TBH

Well that simply isn’t the case. There certainly are quality people of either gender. Not everyone is selfish, with money or no money. I know many quality men. Now relationships might still not work or be still be difficult but it doesn’t mean there are no quality people

It is a pity that such a situation happened to you. I understand you're upset, but don't blame yourself. You trusted him, but he just doesn't rely on your trust. Because he's an idiot.
I think he has behaved badly enough, so you should not continue to communicate with him. Even if he apologizes very much and you forgive him, you have to remember that he will not change and will behave the same way.
You're really right that it’s a bad idea to be friends with your ex. Especially if the relationship did not end well.