Is Work Bully PTSD A Thing?

Hi everyone! I started a new position Monday after doing freelance work for about a year.

The thing is... I am feeling SO much anxiety around my team assignment.

Brief History: I worked at a job I absolutely loved for 4 years. In the summer of 2019, I was promoted to run a newly formed department. Until then I worked with two other women (all of us are women of color), but one of them literally started TERRORIZING me after my promotion. Gossiping... back biting... creating cliques. It was AWFUL. I went to management and asked to be removed from the BUILDING that we worked in- giving up my beautiful office for a cube in the basement. My "battle cry" during that period was "I just want to do my job and be left alone". She would then find reasons to visit my new location.

After 9 months of this (she even took me to HR), I left the company.

I'll be honest... I struggle with other women of color. I think it goes back to not having women in my life until I was 9 and then having a WICKED stepmother. This workplace bully reminded me of her so much.

Well, my new position requires team assignments, and my entire team is women of color. I should feel a sense of pride, but I'm anxious. I find myself already "trying too hard" or not saying anything because I don't want to be misunderstood.

I haven't even given these women a chance. Is this PTSD or outright prejudice against "my own people"? If it's the latter, I'm disappointed in myself. I want to do a good job but NEVER want to go through that again.

Whether or not this is PTSD is for a psychologist or psychiatrist to decide. However, yes, it does sound like certain behaviors trigger you, and, YES, bullying can be and is traumatizing. It also sounds like the bullying at work triggered stuff from your past and so it's sort of a compounding of trauma from your stepmother. I had almost the same sort of compounding with a female bully at an employer who reminded me of my mother.

I would encourage you to allow your new coworkers to show you who they are and take them on your face value. It does sound like you experience some symptoms of PTSD, like correlating them (who you don't know yet) with people who treated you poorly. That's a little bit of flashback behavior - operating in an old reality when you're in a new reality.

I think you should see a therapist and get some help with distinguishing these new coworkers from your former coworkers. Always check back in with the evidence. Don't assume any behavior is related to anything else.

You could also take on the mantra of being an example for them - since the cliques and gossiping were upsetting - that you want to model kindness and uplifting each other as a team. Sometimes teams devolve into that high school behavior because no one really shows a model of behaving better.

I don't think you're prejudiced. I think there is some trauma that's clouding judgement, and I do think a therapist could help you work through it and thrive.

I agree. I am looking into some virtual counseling. Thank you!

i am not sure if i'd go as far as call it a form of ptsd, Hopefully other people more knowledgeable about this will read this and Help you, but even though i have never experienced it or heard that much about it, i completely agree with the wise and wonderful seesaw, i don't find it hard to believe that someone may feel haunted by some past bad experiences! i'd suggest to try your best to control these feelings and to do your best at the work you have to do. Sorry if this post isn't really Helpful to you. i'd also suggest to see a therapist to work on this if you aren't already doing it. Please do not give up. You matter. Please do keep us updated. i Hope and Pray things will improve Soon. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @ZenZeta, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

I am sorry you were bullied. It’s terrible. It’s possible you have triggers steaming from your past. Could you address it with a therapist? I’d try not to self diagnose or diagnose others because it’s usually serves no purpose. PTSD and narcissism seem to be new trends nowadays, it comes and goes like this. All of a sudden everyone has one or the other but no formal diagnosis. I recommend to avoid it as not every trigger is PTSD

I strongly recommend therapy