[indigo1015]

I'm beginning to feel that finding love is a pipe dream for me-- I've seen this guy a few times and he's okay, but I feel like he's stringing me along. He doesn't want to commit yet, which I totally understand, but he's not being terribly attentive or communicative. I don't think he's equipped to have a healthy relationship. I just went on a date with a guy today-- he's really smart and funny, but frankly, he doesn't really appeal to me or turn me on. I know that's a horrible thing to say, and of course I'm not perfect and gorgeous either. But if I don't feel anything for him, I don't. And he's bugging the crap out of me with all his texts now. Sometimes I think I'm looking in the wrong places, but I also worry that there isn't anyone out there who's right for me. What I'm looking for is a long-term relationship with a guy I can learn from, have great experiences with, grow with, have amazing sex with, and who I can trust. But I'm 35 years old, and it's tough to find guys in your thirties because you're more set in your ways and have a better sense of who you are and what you want in lift than people usually do in their twenties. I'm on a dating website, but frankly it's not going very well. I'm either too conservative or too liberal for the guys on there, and even if I'm not, it's tough finding a guy who is willing to potentially move further west, which is what I hope to do. That's more understandable than the political aspect, because a lot of the guys I date from there already have kids from previous marriages and jobs here in Denver, and I don't want to separate anyone from their family or job. Maybe I should just give up and go back to fwb relationships.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by indigo1015

I'm beginning to feel that finding love is a pipe dream for me-- I've seen this guy a few times and he's okay, but I feel like he's stringing me along. He doesn't want to commit yet, which I totally understand, but he's not being terribly attentive or communicative. I don't think he's equipped to have a healthy relationship. I just went on a date with a guy today-- he's really smart and funny, but frankly, he doesn't really appeal to me or turn me on. I know that's a horrible thing to say, and of course I'm not perfect and gorgeous either. But if I don't feel anything for him, I don't. And he's bugging the crap out of me with all his texts now. Sometimes I think I'm looking in the wrong places, but I also worry that there isn't anyone out there who's right for me. What I'm looking for is a long-term relationship with a guy I can learn from, have great experiences with, grow with, have amazing sex with, and who I can trust. But I'm 35 years old, and it's tough to find guys in your thirties because you're more set in your ways and have a better sense of who you are and what you want in lift than people usually do in their twenties. I'm on a dating website, but frankly it's not going very well. I'm either too conservative or too liberal for the guys on there, and even if I'm not, it's tough finding a guy who is willing to potentially move further west, which is what I hope to do. That's more understandable than the political aspect, because a lot of the guys I date from there already have kids from previous marriages and jobs here in Denver, and I don't want to separate anyone from their family or job. Maybe I should just give up and go back to fwb relationships.

Why not move and then find a guy?

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[Marie123]

I am 74 and finally gave up on on-line dating.

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry things are being a bit hard! Please Do not give up! i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about considering moving there and dating afterwards if that is possible. Finding the right person can be hard i think but i don't think it is absolutely impossible. It may require a little bit of time though. Hopefully things will go well. Please do keep us updated if you can and want to. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @indigo1015, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[rechu]

I'd say at 35 you still are young. There will be many opportunities to meet someone. I met my husband at 37, married at 38. 12 years later, including a 8.8 earthquake, social uprising, job losss, mental health issues and now a pandemic, we are still together. Things are good, especially considering all we have gone through, although there were some challenges, definitely. Fortunately, neither of us had kids and neither of us want them. That was a big deal breaker for me.


I know many people that have found love at a much older age. I've never used a dating app and haven't heard the greatest things about them. Maybe now that things are opening up more in the US, you can start to get involved in some activities or groups that interest you and meet more people? Just a thought. It may feel less forced than a dating site.

[Alive99]

Originally Posted by indigo1015

I'm beginning to feel that finding love is a pipe dream for me-- I've seen this guy a few times and he's okay, but I feel like he's stringing me along. He doesn't want to commit yet, which I totally understand, but he's not being terribly attentive or communicative. I don't think he's equipped to have a healthy relationship. I just went on a date with a guy today-- he's really smart and funny, but frankly, he doesn't really appeal to me or turn me on. I know that's a horrible thing to say, and of course I'm not perfect and gorgeous either. But if I don't feel anything for him, I don't. And he's bugging the crap out of me with all his texts now. Sometimes I think I'm looking in the wrong places, but I also worry that there isn't anyone out there who's right for me. What I'm looking for is a long-term relationship with a guy I can learn from, have great experiences with, grow with, have amazing sex with, and who I can trust. But I'm 35 years old, and it's tough to find guys in your thirties because you're more set in your ways and have a better sense of who you are and what you want in lift than people usually do in their twenties. I'm on a dating website, but frankly it's not going very well. I'm either too conservative or too liberal for the guys on there, and even if I'm not, it's tough finding a guy who is willing to potentially move further west, which is what I hope to do. That's more understandable than the political aspect, because a lot of the guys I date from there already have kids from previous marriages and jobs here in Denver, and I don't want to separate anyone from their family or job. Maybe I should just give up and go back to fwb relationships.

Hey. I understand you. I'm not really younger than you either, so.... I would say I used to run into a lot of emotionally unavailable guys for some reason. But I think I've sorted out a lot of that over the years. I've become more clear on what's realistic to expect in that area, what it is I'm really looking for, how to accept the less than perfect, etc. This is still work in progress but yeah. I feel better about all this now. I think it's possible for you too to feel better about this topic. I really was bad with it. And where you mention that it's harder in your thirties because of being more set in your ways and have a better sense of who you are and what you want in life. I don't really see how that makes it harder to find a good relationship? It all just sounds like to me like it's a good foundation actually for a good relationship. It's absolutely great if you know who you are and what you want in life. A relationship isn't about being swayed by the partner about these things, it's about finding your match. Maybe I just misunderstood what you had in mind, let me know.

[indigo1015]

Hey guys, thanks for the input the reason I’m looking for someone now as opposed to when I move is that the move is very much in the early planning stage— I’m taking a week off in August to go further west to scout out a few locations, but i would need to put my apartment on the market, find a new job where I’m moving to, etc. and basically, I’m still figuring it all out. I guess what I meant when i said it’s harder to date in your thirties is that you’re on a more established path than you are usually when you’re in your twenties, and if the other person’s not on a similar path, that kinda sucks as far as relationships go.

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[leomama]

I’m
In my 40s and my recent attempt to date someone has not gone well for me. It broke all my deals . Dating is
Never easy. I’ve yet to be successful.

[Alive99]

Originally Posted by indigo1015

Hey guys, thanks for the input the reason I’m looking for someone now as opposed to when I move is that the move is very much in the early planning stage— I’m taking a week off in August to go further west to scout out a few locations, but i would need to put my apartment on the market, find a new job where I’m moving to, etc. and basically, I’m still figuring it all out. I guess what I meant when i said it’s harder to date in your thirties is that you’re on a more established path than you are usually when you’re in your twenties, and if the other person’s not on a similar path, that kinda sucks as far as relationships go.

I see what you mean. Well, in your twenties the paths could more easily diverge suddenly, too, right? It happened to me, I think (not romantically but still...)

[indigo1015]

Originally Posted by Alive99

I see what you mean. Well, in your twenties the paths could more easily diverge suddenly, too, right? It happened to me, I think (not romantically but still...)

I guess…

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[indigo1015]

I guess that’s just been my experience to date with relationships in your thirties. Maybe it’s just me, and it probably doesn’t have to be that way.

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