[Broken0197]

Hey yall. My wife and I have been married for 25 years and a few months ago she said she wants to end things. We have four kids together - two grown and two still at home - and a few grandson. This is destroying me and will tear my family to pieces. We are not financially able to seperate so we still live together and noone in our family knows what's going on. She says she wants time away to be able to evaluate what she wants for the rest of her life and feels separating is the only way to do this. We have set up a new savings account that we are putting money into monthly to save up for her to leave. I'm not sleeping, not eating, and can not think about or concentrate on abutting else. I need real help in figuring out how to manage my life!

[hvert]

Would she be willing to try couples counseling or is her mind made up? Would you consider counseling on your own? It could really be useful to get through this situation. I've had friends who had to live together even after separation due to financial issues and it sure doesn't seem easy on anyone.

[Rive.]

I need real help in figuring out how to manage my life!

IF your spouse does not want to stay, there is not much you can do. Hence, a therapist could help you navigate these rough waters and support you through this transition.

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry things are being so hard! Please Do not give up! Hugs. i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about suggesting couple counseling to your Wife if you haven't already. If she isn't willing to do that even, i am afraid there isn't much else you can do and i think seeking individual therapy may be a good, sage option. Do try your best as i think you can handle this also even though i think i can understand that things may be difficult. i Hope things will improve really soon for everyone. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Broken0197, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[eskielover]

She says she wants time away to be able to evaluate what she wants for the rest of her life

The foundational question is.....what does she want for the rest of her life that isn't being fulfilled in your marriage?

I know for me it was financial security. I KNEW I could handle my own finances perfectly well without the HUGE screwups my now ex H kept creating without saying anything. Best move I made was leaving but that was a HUGE thing that impacted my future.

Maybe she needs to DEFINE what she really wants & what is missing. Marriage counseling could help though it didn't for us because he was beyond changing as it had been an issue all 33 years we were married only my career had carried us through his stupidity.

Gotta define a problem, want, desire before it can be worked on & separating from it may or may not help in addressing it