[black-roses]

So, I've been taking a break from my friend who tells his mum everything about me. It's only been like 5 days well he messaged me on Facebook, after I've blocked him on my phone saying "Hi hope your well and everything haven't heard from you in ages". It's only been like five days honestly and I don't have any desire what so ever to talk to him because I'm very hurt that he would tell his mum things even when I told him not to. By the way I'm feeling like I don't want to ever talk to him again. Which maybe on my part it is a bit of an exaggeration it's not like he killed my cat. Either way his lack of loyalty really hurt my feelings and I'm just sick of having friends that either talk about me behind my back to my sister or whatever. I honestly just want to move on from this and just take the lessons in my stride and find better friendships. I guess I need time to figure myself out so I'm not gonna reply to Ben at all.

[Bill3]

Good job staying firm in your resolve!

[RoxanneToto]

That’s great, there are more trustworthy people out there, but sometimes you just need a break from everyone too. It will help you reflect on what you really want and need from future friendships.

[black-roses]

I'm trying to think what I'm going to do about this friendship because I'm still feeling intense sadness and disappointment over it. What I want in a friendship is a positive person that lifts me up I just them to be honest to me. In this friendship it feels like he complains a lot and I just sit there like carrying the weight of his problems and like I told him to get help for it but he doesn't seem to want help or do anything to fix his issues. It's just frustrating because I have my own issues and like I have to put up with someone who doesn't seem to care about themselves it's just frustrating.

[RoxanneToto]

He’s obviously not a good fit for you, but it is naturally disappointing to realise that a friendship is so lopsided, especially the longer term ones. It takes time to accept that, and forgive yourself for putting up with any poor treatment you received in that time.

[Rive.]

it's not an exaggeration. He clearly cannot be trusted.

Not many people would want to be in a relationship where the other person is not trustworthy. That is maintaining healthy boundaries.

[Bill3]

It sounds like you are grieving the loss of a friendship that may have been acceptable and good for you at one time but now is not.

[black-roses]

It's just upsetting because it seems to be a pattern in all my friendships. Like I had one friend Rachel that I was friends with since highschool I think last year for no reason she bagged me out to my sister which I feel is like a low blow. I never confronted her about it because I only found out this year when Rachel was talking to me and I was saying in the car I wanted to see Rachel my sister, said she was a ***** and to **** her. Then my sister explained why she was a ***** and told me what she said. I asked her what she said exactly but my sister didnt remember. I also asked her why she didn't tell me. She said because I was depressed last year and this was probably the last thing I needed. Another douchebag I was friends with in highschool threatened me with my nudes. I'm just really over finding crap people to be friends. I seem to attract the untrustworthy assholes.

[black-roses]

Another thing someone stated about me and Ben that I didn't consider, was the possibility that he was sabotaging me to others to keep me close to him. Which was something my mum was implying to me as well but I didn't understand it till someone else explained the dynamic.

[Bill3]

Which of your friends are not untrustworthy assholes?

[black-roses]

Good point I don't have friends that are worth trusting. I guess I have to work on myself more and try and find better friends that better reflect the value I have inside.

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry for what is going on! Please Do not give up! Hugs. i think i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters that you may be Grieving the Loss of a friendship. If you're feeling upset about it perhaps you may simply write him a message explaining that you need at least a break if not more. Do try to be honest if possible. i Hope things will improve really soon for everyone. Love. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @black-roses, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[black-roses]

I finally sent Ben a text after no contact of 9 days because I talked about me and his situation in class and a classmate gave me a different perspective. They said they maybe said all that stuff to there mum as they wanted the friendship to be a serious relationship. I mean Ben has said he loved me in the past and said he wanted a relationship with me. I also talked about this to mum and she said as long as we were friends he'd never give up on trying to make me his girlfriend. I said that I thought he would eventually 'get over it'. Mum provided me an example of my auntie who had a guy who liked her who didn't give up on trying to date her for twenty years. In that respect I hope that he doesn't hold on that long as that would be sad for both of us.

In the text message I said:
"Hey Ben I'm just at Tafe I took sometime to think about our friendship and how I felt about you telling your mum things. I felt like I needed to think about what I wanted in life. I feel like we could continue on as a casual friendship. Though I'm probably not up to hang out a lot yet as I'm still quite busy and overwhelmed with things".

[Bill3]

A good start, if he wants to have a serious relationship, would be to respect your boundaries and not discuss stuff with his mother.