Help to move on

Dear all,
In September my fiancé (M.) dumped me, and I can’t seem to be able to move on. I keep on blaming myself and wondering whether I overdid certain things. I’d be very grateful to read honest advice.
I met M. some 10 years ago, he was married and cheated on his wife with me. It was a quick affair and we both went on with our lives. He got divorced and after a couple of years restarted contact with me asking me to move with him to Mexico (he’s Mexican and I’m European). I had a partner then and was doing my phd so I told him no. Yet, we continued in touch, he visited in 2014, and then in 2019. By then, I had broken up with my partner and M. kept on insisting that I moved with him, so eventually I decided to give it a go. He then proposed and I quit my job in Germany, sold my things and moved to Mexico. Before moving I asked him what if I didn’t like it in Mexico, and he said we could move back to Europe...
Once in Mexico, my job there was not as expected, I felt super useless and badly treated and when I told him he accused me of always complaining about everything. It was not until they threatened me to deport me for no reason and when three other people quit that M. believed me. During this time (this was all happening during the first month or two) I did not have many chances to meet people because of the COVID restrictions so I spent most days alone feeling down... Although I told him my being down was not his fault, his reaction was more like: I’m not happy like this, I don’t feel complete and by the way I’m never ever going back to Europe, so maybe it was better for me to go. This was for me a big shock, especially since I had left everything to move in with him...
After 4 months or so, I was sent a chat history between him and a female friend of his, who he introduced me to to be her friend, where they shared all sorts of sexual details, including sex with me before my moving to Mexico. The messages were very shocking or me because he takes about women like pieces of meat, me mocked me and my family when he came visit, made fun of some romantic things I had done for him, shared with this friend port videos between himself and a random girl (without the girls consent), bragged about having sex with his students or about how he was going to have to “****” the lady at the immigration department to get my visa. Also, while I was still in Europe applying for jobs in Mexico he had been sleeping around with people that were among his cicle of friend, to whom I was introduced without knowing... I don’t know, I felt totally stupid and humiliated. I told him and refused to see his friends (at least for a while) and we fought a lot. Although he admitted it, he kept on changing dates as to whether he’d been sleeping around while we were together apart or not. It drove me crazy. Was I overreacting? Or do you think his was a super disrespectful behaviour?
Some friend told me to leave him when I saw these messages but I guess I still loved him and had put too much at play to be with him... yet, even though I tried, I couldn’t help feeling very resentful and always snapped at some sexist comments of his (for instance, I used to work on Jordan and Egypt and was harassed by a colleague, and I told M. he was like: well, what do you women expect when you go to these countries)?

Besides this, when I quit that job, I obtained two very good contracts, which would however require me to travel regularly. His response was: if you’re gonna be travelling so much (1 month out of 6), what kind of relationship is this? We’d better break up.

I think the whole thing messed up my mind a lot and I keep on blaming myself for not having done more to safe the relationship... what do you guys think? Please, be honest.
E.

What "more" could you have done?! And how can it be your fault?

You upended your whole life to be with him. You have not had an easy time (social isolation, job situation) and he has not been emotionally supportive at all. He sends inappropriate sexual messages, sleeps around, brags about it, lies about it... treats women like pieces of meat in your own words and gives ZERO support when *you* are treated like a piece of meat by other males. He prevents you from exploring new job opportunities.

How can you blame yourself? Should you shut up and take that kind of behaviour with a smile? Is *that* what would make you a good partner??

The only thing you did 'wrong' was stay with him at all and especially for this long. Because it shows you are willing to take any abuse from a partner and be okay with it. And worse, then blaming yourself for your partner's appalling treatment of you.

It is important to own what is yours but not excuse others' behaviours by taking responsibility that is theirs onto your shoulders.

Someone so disrespectful is non-deserving of your attention, affection or love. They deserve the boot and for good. Why stay?

Thank you so much for your honesty!
I really appreciate it!
E.

I agree that he is not a good partner or a good person. I'm sorry you wasted so much time with him, but I truly think you're better off without him.

Super disrespectful behavior! Definitely.