18yo girl and 27yo guy

Crushes on teachers are pretty common with young girls. I remember that from high school.

I hear you. I have been flattered when young men show attraction. It’s nice to feel attractive.

I'm not a teacher

I thought you were teaching at a summer camp?

Yeah, but I'm an extra. I do filmmaking professionaly and they've asked me to show them few things outside of the box. I'm not a teacher on daily basis.

I didn’t think it through that she was your student. Yeah I’d say it’s inappropriate. If you met her in the situation where you both on equal footing like both playing in the amateur same sport team or community art class then maybe it would be ok

It also depends where is she in life. If you are both college students it’s one thing. If she is in high school and you are independent adult, it’s just wrong.

Also be aware of her parents. Even if she is 18 (unless you saw her documents you just don’t know), her parents sent her to camp, paid for it, and hoped she received good care. They sure would be unhappy to find out that instructors ask her out (even if class is over) or that instructors discuss how she’s supposedly attracted to them because she is approaching them privately. As a parent I’d be very unhappy.

Just meet women in other places even if they are younger than you.

Nothing to do with a "mafia." It's disturbing that you, a grown man, are interested in an 18-year-old girl who essentially is a pupil of yours in a class you are teaching. It's gross.

Her family sure won't be happy about that and I'm illustrating to you what can happen if you pursue.

It's inappropriate, but you're not going to hear that. This is why the phrase "F around and find out" was invented.

I won't go on with this, but to be 100% honest I saw it totally different as I'm not a teacher. As I said above I'm an extra, a professional who supposed to entertain those folks outside of their learning course that they have with real teachers. I didn't approach them as a teacher, we would say hi to each other and talk like young folks do. I'm 27 and a year back I was a college student.

These are teenagers in a camp (signed for a camp by their parents). You are hired as a professional to teach them the skill in a workshop or demonstrate something.

Just because you do not officially have a title of a teacher doesn’t mean you were there as equal participants.

Camp leaders trusted you enough to teach or show things to teens and parents trusted camp director enough to believe that their teenage kids aren’t being hit on by instructors or workshop leaders or other professionals invited to work with teens

You are betraying directors and parents trust by hitting or planning on a student or assuming they are attracted to you

A) I didn't hit on anyone nor I will (as I said). All I did was thinking about it briefly.
B) I assumed nothing. I am sure she was hitting on me. Trust me, you wouldn't have any doubts if you were there.

Btw. I agree with what you've said. Bad timing, bad place. I won't pursue her.

It’s entirely possible she was hitting on you. It’s not that uncommon for a student to have a crush on a teacher or other professional working in that capacity. But it’s neither here nor there or anything to share with others (ok on anonymous forum of course, that’s what we are here for).

I am glad you’ll not pursue her. Smart move

You have a full right to talk to people, whether they are your students or not. I think it is completely narrow-minded to believe that just because you were someone's teacher once, you cannot become friends or good acquaintances, or if age permits and all parties consent - something more. There is no one-size-fits-all format when it comes to this, only you know your true intentions towards this person and it is on BOTh you and her how your interaction's gonna go. She's of legal age, yes, young, but capable of making her own decisions.

I've worked as a dance teacher for a few years and became friends with few of my students, we stay in touch till that day. I don't see why lose an opportunity to talk with someone interesting just because you're teaching them. It'd be different if you planned to enter a more-than-friends-relationship, while teaching - that would be real controversial. Otherwise - you're an adult, she's an adult, and both of you have a right to talk to whoever you want.

You don’t get it. She is/ was a student of his and he has romantic interests beyond just conversation or friendship. She is very young and impressionable plus he’s in a position of authority and power over her. It’s entirely inappropriate and I’m sure the workshop leaders would not be happy.

You're not accurate. I did find her attractive but I wasn't like "let's hit on her hard RIGHT NOW". I wanted to get to know her first and be neutral about it to find out who she is.

Did I ever say that? Noooooo.

There are many people who are in their 20s and still very impressionable, that doesn't change the fact that they are both adults and that right now he is not in the teaching position. I don't see anything wrong with having a romantic interest in someone who you used to be professionally involved with , either.

If you don’t see anything wrong with it you’re entitled to your opinion but respectfully I disagree with you.

Even if the class is over, dating former student could cause many problems. He won’t be invited to lead a workshop next time if camp leaders find out. Parents might lodge a complaint etc

Even if someone is 18, if they are in school (not college) adulthood rules don’t apply. By your logic teachers and school staff could date their 18-year old students? I don’t think so. Now it might not be illegal but it doesn’t mean it’s ok

I'm curious... what exact laws would I break? The parents complaint based on what? And what prevents teachers from dating 18yo students? I'm talking about the law, not the moral code. I'm just curious and you seem like you know something I don't.

You can Google that and get plenty of data.

"Despite the legal definition of an adult as someone “18 and older,” state courts have held that sexual relationships between students and teachers are against the law. In 2010, the Supreme Court of Washington ruled that a choir teacher’s sexual relationship with an 18-year-old student constituted “sexual misconduct with a minor,” even though the student had reached the state age of majority. The teacher avoided jail time but lost his teaching certification after pleading guilty to coercion...

In the absence of state and federal laws expressly prohibiting sexual relationships between teachers and students who are “consenting adults,” at least 18 years of age, some schools have instituted their own internal policies that make the practice unethical and cause for written censure or dismissal."

Student Teacher Relationship Laws: Sexual Relationships With Students Impede the Duty of Care - Lewis and Llewellyn

It depends on where you live in the US, but in several states, it IS illegal. Where it's not illegal, it may be considered unethical and cause for dismissal.

However, I noticed BigBubba lives in Europe, so perhaps the laws & ethical considerations differ.

This one doesn't make any sense. Charged with sexual misconduct with A MINOR who IS NOT A MINOR? No suprise there was no jail time.

Well, I noticed that you live in Europe, and these are U.S. laws quoted. I tried to look up how it is in Europe, but this varies per country and I don't know where you are located.

Still, this person in the U.S. lost their teaching certification.

I still think it's best to err on the side of caution and to avoid the whole thing. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, so to speak, and this one girl doesn't have to be your only choice. You're not stuck on an island with her.

This I can understand, but the minor thing doesn't add up. How could you accuse someone of sexual misconduct with a minor who's 18yo (which means she's not a minor)? Weird.

I agree that it does not add up in terms of the student's actual legal age. But that's how the court viewed it. She's a teenager. In most states, you have to be 21 to drink alcohol, so 18 is still a minor from that angle.