[DealOrNoDeal]

So it’s a long story and idk how much I can write in this thing but I just need someone to validate my suspicions so that I know it’s not just me🧐 Anyone, please, feel free to give your honest opinion. How would you feel if your significant other did a favor(not out of their way) for another single person(this is a co worker) But never told you anything about it

[DoroMona]

I would be totally OK with it, although perhaps a little surprised because my SO rarely does things for other people. I would also be OK with not being told, unless it's something funny or interesting or has something to do with me. My SO loaning someone money has something to do with me. My SO giving someone a ride has nothing to do with me. My SO carrying someone out of a burning building has nothing to do with me but is interesting... I'll add, my SO and I aren't perfect, but we don't have any issues with trust or jealousy.


Would you say you have trust issues? And if so, do you have a reason to have them?

[divine1966]

It’s not possible or warranted to report everything to one’s SO. Both I and my husband work very fast pace busy jobs with a lot of people and many tasks. I can’t imagine reporting every thing I do for people at work.

Now of course it depends on the nature of the favor. If it’s accompany someone to someone’s wedding as a “plus one”, then it’s inappropriate. Carrying something heavy for them, it’s perfectly fine.

[Have Hope]

It depends on what the favor was & the context of it. It also depends on the nature of their relationship. Are they in touch outside of work at all?

[Rive.]

My significant other has no obligation to report to me regarding every single thing they do.

They are allowed to have a life, friends, do favours for other people etc. without having to report to me. What does it matter if the other person is single or not - is your partner not allowed to interact with single people? are they not allowed to interact with anyone unless they have your approval?

This seems extreme and pretty controlling behaviour.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Rive.

My significant other has no obligation to report to me regarding every single thing they do.

They are allowed to have a life, friends, do favours for other people etc. without having to report to me. What does it matter if the other person is single or not - is your partner not allowed to interact with single people? are they not allowed to interact with anyone unless they have your approval?

This seems extreme and pretty controlling behaviour.

Well to all honesty we don’t know the issue. OP didn’t come back to clarify.

Maybe the person is a coworker but a favor is to spend the entire weekend helping this person to relocate.

My husband and I have zero jealousy or trust issues, but something that extensive and time consuming would need to be discussed. It wouldn’t be ok to make a plan to be away the whole weekend and not discuss with me. So I think it depends what’s the favor?

The reason I brought this example is I actually helped a coworker to move (not too far just in the area), that was years ago and I was single and so was he. My daughter was at her dads for the weekend. I had no obligations to report anything to anyone. We were coworkers and became friends. If I was married then, I’d most certainly discuss such plans with my spouse.

[divine1966]

Dear deal or no deal I hope you didn’t get scared away. Please come back and let us know how you are doing? Do you have any other questions or would like to clarify what kind of favors were you referring to so we could provide more specific insight? Hope you are well

[Fuzzybear]

Hope you come back and let us know how you're doing

[Embracingtruth]

Without context to what this "favor" is or how it relates to your relationship with the person offering, its hard to know where this resides. Did this person give out money they don't have, (which is an issue in your relationship) or did they help move a dishwasher? More specifics are needed.

[AzulOscuro]

This is why we can only talk in general. And my partner don’t have to tell me about each steps he does such as helping a friend or a coworker. Much more, if he does it. I think, good guy helping others.