[Travelinglady]

"It's Very Unhealthy": Couples Therapists Are Revealing Immediate Red Flags In They See In Their Clients

[eskielover]

I saw red flags before the wedding & managed to logic them away since I had no one willing to support my concerns. I saw & experienced red flags after the wedding. Just made me fight harder against them & over the 33 years it got unbearable. Think the T we were seeing at the end summed it up well.....He never out grew the emotional marurity of a 13 year old. Who wanted to be a mother to a 54 year old husband. Had better things to do with my life

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks for sharing Trav

[Albatross2008]

It's amazing how we can rationalize. I married my ex-husband *after* I saw him

Possible trigger:

slap his mother in the face. He teased and bullied her constantly, and she had advanced MS and could not simply get up and walk away from him. I was made aware that this wasn't even the first time had hit her.

Yet I married him anyway.

What was my rationale? That she *is* a very nasty-tempered woman, and

Possible trigger:

there had been times I was tempted to pop her one myself.

Understand please that having a fleeting urge, and doing it, are two very different things. I had the self-control not to follow through on what it crossed my mind to do. He didn't.

There's a lot of points made on the link (78). I have never been married. There are a couple of points I felt like I could relate to, even though like I said, I have never been married.

#5 ---> For a time there was a neighbor who is a married woman who I became friendly with. A short time before she and I became friendly, she and her husband moved in. Her husband was pretty nice to me at first. But later on, I personally felt more comfortable with her than with him. I guess she felt more comfortable with me than her husband did with me. I got to know her more, and the more time went on, her husband seemed unfriendly towards me. I didn't feel comfortable with that.

Recently she and I had a falling out. One day we had a short and friendly conversation, I thought. A couple of days after that I saw her and said "hello" and she seemed standoffish with me. A couple of days after that, she and her husband were sitting in an area with tables and chairs near my bedroom window making noise at 6:30 AM. I told them to keep it down because they woke me up. They were not happy about it. So she went to my apartment manager and stabbed me in the back. After that I wasn't nice to her; but then after not being nice to her, her husband acted better towards me.

#48 ---> My sister gives me the impression that her marriage is wonderful when we talk on the phone. I don't think it is. I was never crazy about him and so were others in my family. There had been a lot of times while my sister is on the phone with me, her husband would yell out at her. She would have to hang up on me and run to him. Also, she sounded depressed a lot of times.