Did my new aquaintence have ulterior motives?

I understand. You are just curious, in theory. Regarding AI: why don't you open an account with OpenAI and play with ChatGPT on your own? It is free. Just do not share personal detail with it because OpenAI trains its models on the data transmitted by users.

OK, thanks for the suggestion. And the warning too.

I haven’t read the replies, only your thread introduction. So, my apologies if what I say has been already said.
Jesyka, from this and other posts by you. I got a thought. Maybe I’m wrong.
That’s why I’m gonna ask you a question. Since I think that I’m now have a better picture of you.

Is it possible that for your past, having social anxiety, you didn’t have many social experiences and you feel the need to experiment (in the good sense) testing yourself and testing to know better about where different people may be coming from? That’s why you are not still so picky. Because you are opening you up to experience whatever possibility to interact. Because you need to live this learning now.
Am I wrong?

As for the guy. Well, when a guy send you pictures too often, there are many possibilities that he wants receive pictures of you. I understand that you always give the benefit of the doubt to people. If you are not interested at having some kind of relationship with this guy, I wouldn’t contact him. You already know where he’s coming from.

I don’t have as much social experience as most people my age. Or as much social knowledge. I don’t have to many people to compare notes with usually.

My parents had terrible social skills. My dad is autistic & my mom has a paranoid personality histronic disorder.

I didn’t have any close friends growing up. I tend to be to trusting for my own good at times. That guy was a good ********ter. He did send me his pic btw. He was this huge middle aged white guy with a walker.

It could be fake of course. I guess that I was to eager to have someone to talk to, ugh. He appeared to be a good caring listener.

He didn’t ask for anything at first. He was a sneaky one.
Unfortunately for him, my b.s detector isn’t totally broken, it.’s just not able to detect b.s immediately sometimes, lol.

It was obvious that something was wrong when he started getting upset with me over not sending him pics & other things.

He was becoming increasingly demanding, frustrated & impatient with me. He was extremely pushy & was asking to do a video chat & then asked if we he could eventually meet me & buy me lunch.

I said no & he lost it then & was like, I’m not going to help you anymore then. I blocked him. What a freak!

Sounds like he thought you were the scammer. Refusing to video chat or call and refusing pictures. People who want to video chat want to know that the person on the other end is real.

He contacted me, so how could I be a scammer?

By not video chat ing. You were asking for help and wanted help, so he contacted you. but then you refused to do a phone call or video-chat to confirm you were a real person.

Nammu, what’s a department of vocational services. And how it works. Is it effective? Here, the unemployed office doesn’t work very well to say the least. Only offers courses from time to time but that’s it. It’s very rare they help you actively. Many, because there are lots of unemployed here.
Is it better there?

The department of vocational services is for disabled people. It works very well. It tests people and helps them find long term employment. The goal is to get people off of disability but also helps unemployed disabled workers. Since Jesyka isn’t on disability they will test her, help her find treatment and adapted work that would suit her. It is separate from the employment office.

***Jesyka’s quote:
“Unfortunately for him, my b.s detector isn’t totally broken, it.’s just not able to detect b.s immediately sometimes, lol. “

Lol! Well done! And I would dare to say, this detector is gonna work better and better with more experiences.
I congratulate you for wanting to know more about this unknown, for us, world of sociability.

Sounds good!
Thank you for the explanation. 😀

I don’t know Jesyka but for someone with social anxiety is not easy to do video chats, calls, send pictures… Maybe a pic of a poster with something written at the moment would be helpful with trust if it was his problem.

I think that you should read the whole thread & not just skim through it.

You’re missing a lot. First of all, he’s a creep & a predator. He got mad at me & demanded my pic. I then blocked him. He asked for a video chat & to eventually meet which I said no to also which also pissed him off.

Yes, I read it. First time, I only read your introducing post and I mentioned it. I had not time at that moment and I was more based on other threads about your social interactions.
Yesterday, I read it before writing.
I was only adding information he could have done to test if you were a real person. As a user pointed out that he could have seen you as the scammer.
But, I don’t think it’s the case.

I don’t share your adjectives about him being a creep. It sounds too hard for me but he’s one more among many who try to fish in the internet. And the drama about him being upset for receiving no pics (obviously, I wasn’t present in the situation so I only can speculate but he was just push you to give it a last try).
You did well. I would even bother to block him, unless he kept contacting me.

I wanted to mean in my previous thread that I wouldn’t (negative, ****!) even worry about blocking him up.

Said that, I see you and I don’t understand each other. So, I will save time for both.

I thought you said that you didn’t read everything & that you just read the titkes? Anyways, had a temper. It’s a good thing that I blocked him as he was a creep. What kind of person demands pics?

No. I read your post. Not the other replies. I’ve been having problems in my life, so I couldn’t read all the thread before my first post.
Then, I read all the thread and I wrote another post to reply to one of Nammun’s interventions. About this guy thinking that you may be the scammer.

Sorry to hear about your dog. I just saw your recent posr. Your mom sounds awful too. As for that guy, I was just talking to him.

I have no male friends period right now in my life, not even on here. I’m back to not trusting men again ever. I obviously made a mistake.

I need to be a lot more careful with everyone from now on as it seems like a lot of people tend to abuse & mistreat or at least disrespect vulnerable people That or look down on them for being stupid & naieve probably.

That’s definitely been the case with me personally.

It’s quite personal to comment on the gender of friends I agree, and I wouldn’t assume someone has necessarily a sexual motive in an opposite sex friendship. However it sounds like this guy possibly was sexually motivated from the content of his conversation is that right?

He made a few sexual jokes & indirect sexysl comments. It was like he was testing my reactions or something like that, ew He supposedly had a g.f, but maybe tyat was a lie, who knows.?

Yeah this person could have been telling you anything but the jokes and comments do sound like he was testing your reaction.

It is irrational to say, based on this interaction, that men are not to be trusted.

We don’t even know if he is a man for that matter. We can’t make such judgement of entire male population based on anonymous interaction with a random person we haven’t ever met and know nothing about.

Repudiate all men in general only for some negative interactions is irrational and its root is in our prejudices taught since we were kinds.
Everybody have prejudices that we tend to have hidden which rise at moments of tough situations. Rational thinking is needed here, at least to distancing ourselves from these prejudices without denying them but prevent them from influencing our decisions.

Also it’s needed to work on understand a little the others’ behaviours. Only because a man try to attract a woman on the net, it doesn’t make of him a monster.
Then, it’s taking responsibility for our own participation in the even. For example, Jesyca, I think for you it was more a need to experience and experience has a reason. To learn from it. So, you will be more aware of how long you want to go, or find easier to detect red flags. Or even avoid any future similar situation. It’s your choice.

Complaining is good for nothing. You, Jesyka sometimes has a hard time recognising any mistake on your part and when you do it, you use black-white thinking a lot. This is a clear cognitive distortion.
I already mentioned -cognitive distortions-. I would rise this issue up with the student therapist.
When are you visiting him/her?

I thought you could want to give it a reading.

It’s about cognitive distortions. I found it interesting and informative.


https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/...s-202205042738