Emotional manipulation

I’ve found out that my husband has had complete emotional manipulation over me. He has done this the whole relationship while never acknowledging my emotions. Now that we have kids I’m dead last.

Emotional manipulation: saying I need to lose weight, not wanting me to talk to his female mba students because I may “get ideas” ie not want to have kids. Taking my child and then saying I’m an abuser and making me get back with him so he can then again use and abuse me to have a second kid. Saying that I better have a second kid because I’m too old.

I’ve not been well since the first kid but again forcing a second on me while I’m ill. I got diagnosed with lupus after the first kid which he’s denys I have lupus even though you can’t fake blood tests. Now I think I also have pregnancy induced heart failure. Having stabbing pain in my chest along with every other symptom.

This is a man in complete denial about everything. At first I played his game. Felt sorry for etc. no more. Everyday I see him as more of a giant *** who never cared about me and only saw me as a way to have kids.

Anyone else been in similar situation? With an emotionally manipulative abuser?

Welcome to MSF @Babylons - I am sorry you feel manipulated by your partner. Take care of yourself and consult doctors about your condition

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message and not the first word of your message]

That is quite horrible. If having the second kid is by now unavoidable, you should at least have an IUD inserted, without his knowledge, at 6 weeks postpartum. Modern IUDs provide about 99% protection against another pregnancy without the need for cooperation from the man. I wonder why your OB-GYN who delivered the first baby did not discuss contraception options with you at the first postpartum visit or even before the birth. Doing so is a standard of care.

And there are other highly secure long-term contraception methods that you can use without his knowledge.

In general, why do you stay with him? Are you financially dependent on him? Is he a Business school professor?