betrayal by a friend....

My friend of 27 years...

I guess... I am so upset.. I really don't know how to even express this.. my upset caused me a binge/purge.. and now I am angry with me.. for being upset..

I am up for renewal of my SSDI disability... and my pdoc.. and my T.. say I cannot work... so all should be fine...

But in the review.. is a paperwork for a 3rd party to fill out... who better than my best friend... right????

She sees my struggles... knows.. that I cannot take care of a dog.. right now... cannot go to church due to anxiety..

In other words... all she has to do is put that on a piece of paper..

But.. she won't...

This has happened before... she will fill out the paperwork.. in such a way.. that... to me it is unbelievable... it is like and "who is That????"

I don't know.... she still after all these years ... cannot accept that she has a "mently flawed friend"... as she thinks of it...

It is a reflection on her...

after the last time.. I did talk to her about it... and she promised to put down the truth... but.. she just couldn't...

soooooooo... I am just so angry.....................

(((freewill))
I hope she tells the truth for you
thats what friends are for

i hope you get help freewill... i can relate... ive had a long term relationship with someone who really tries, really thinks she's doing the best for me by being honest, pain and all... and thats ok really, but, she doesnt see it correctly imo all the time... so

so i understand....

((((((((((( freewill ))))))))))))

I guess that sometimes others perceptions of us is different from our own. Whether it's because they want too much to believe we are better than we are, or they just plain don't get it....it's just different.

I'm sorry this has happened....I know it's a difficult thing for you hon.


sabby

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Freewill}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I understand. My best friend wouldn't tell the whole truth on that form, either. She skirted around the bush and was so vague, it really didn't help me at all.

Maybe if you found someone that wasn't as close to you? Life is so full of puzzles!

During... therapy.. today... I as in me and my alters... as they say...

decided.. that we are done...

can't be a friend...

can't be a parent...

damaged for life....

and.. yes.. the pain is unbearable...

(((((((((((((freewill)))))))))

It seems to me that you are being a friend to your friend of 27 years but that she is not reciprocating - I think you would make a fine friend - I do not think I would like your friend - from what you have written she seems to only want the "friendship" to be on her terms - as in do not ask her to step outside her own needs and ideas and beliefs. GEEEEZZZZ that is not real friendship. Do not beat yourself up over her behavior.

Your son still may just be too young to understand enough of the hardships in life to be able to understand and empathize with your life.

Short version - I think you can be a fine friend and I am sure that you are a marvelous Mom.

That is very strange. I can not figure out any good reason for her behavior. Infact I can not think of any reason at all. I would feel the same way you do. Sorry you are going through this strain on your friendship. Good luck

Some people cannot express themselves in writing about difficult subjects. Think of writing about our lives here and how that can be upsetting or scary, difficult to express in words that make sense?

I suspect some people see DID more literally than others, in a kind of spirit possession sort of way rather than as a splitting and to put it in writing in a way they understand it, would make it too real for them to deal with. I think people who do not understand eating disorders, DID, suicidal ideation and other major problems often think of them in a magical way, like they are contagious or that talking about them will make them more real. Regular people are not immune to distortions in their thinking and can have leaps of imagination that make the "Body Snatchers" a possibility.

I imagine your friend is a "wimp," freewill :-) not particularly "bad" or deliberately hurtful. She probably sincerely believes that if she talks about your problems and puts them in writing it will make you worse in some way, make what she sees more "real" rather than what she imagines. She'll have to believe these things can happen and if they have happened to you, maybe they could happen to her? It's a lot to ask from another person. They may have problems themselves with just asking for help and your asking for help might be triggering them in such a way they can't help you?

(((((((((((( freewill )))))))))))))