Dateless fior so long

I am 37 years old.Have not had a boyfriend in 10 years.Feel like a loser.When it comes to all kinds of relationships.Growing up both parents where abusers.Did not talk to my dad the last 10 years of his life.Mom's Bi-Polar and drugged out on to many Meds given by DR's.Grew up seeing bad examples of relationships.At times i feel totally ugly and worthless.I know some mean and nasty people.Who seem to always be in relationships.The older i get the more lonely i feel.I pretty much go places on the weekends alone.Know a lot of people.But would not call them really friends.Mainly why i don't call folks where i live friends.Is because i do all the work.I remember birthdays and other special dates.I call folks to see how they are doing.Do favors etc Listen to all their problems.Nobody remembers my birthday etc. I'm really fed up with everyone.I have gotten to know ever since i moved here 15 years ago.I have 3 hang outs and would love to meet folks in one of them places.Because those places are.Where i spend time and have fun. 2 concert venue's and MLB stadium.But all i come across is the same jerks.There could be 40 thousand folks at the games and i run into the same people.Every time i attend a game.Same as the concert venue's.I live a really clean life style.I want someone who do's the same.Not a drinker,smoker or druggie.I have had folks tell me to go to church and i might find someone.But to be honest.I have had issues with several people who attend church.I don't like being preached to.I sure don't want to date a crazed religious freak. I'm a bit picky.Some say i am.But there are somethings.In people i don't want to deal with.Meaning liers,cheaters,drunks,rude jerks,Mama's boys etc.I have know 3 adult men.Who liked me.But they all still live with their parents.I'm sorry but i don't want to date guys that are in their 30's and still live with their parents and are dependent. I am very independent and i want to date a guy.Who is on his own.Why do i attract such losers?I just wish i could be friends with a guy for awhile and then it turns into more.But that has not been my luck.

I went to marraige counseling and he asked both my husband and I what types of influences and examples of marraige we saw growing up. Seeing unrealistic examples can be intimidating when it comes to starting your own relationship.

Some say people think.When someone is growing up.Seeing your parents have a bad marrige.Means it's normally.My parents marrige.Was not normail to me.It was really bad.I have had one serious relationship.The guy ended up being a control freek.Like my dad was growing up.I really don't want to be in a bad relationship.But it seems i attract jerks.

You might think nice guys are boring unless you do lots of work with a therapist and with other adult children of alcoholics. We tend to choose what is familiar to us.

Take a class that has interested you.

Volunteer in something that is a passion of yours.

In both venues there will be souls that tire of what has frustrated you.

Lenny

I'm with Lenny on this one. Think of what your purpose and your passion is and then find a way to join some type of group and get to know the folks.

I know for me for example, my purpose and passion is animals...so I volunteer at my local ASPCA and meet folks who also love critters.

So I say, what are you drawn to? I know you like music. Perhaps you could explore a new genre in music thus meeting new people instead of the same old folks.

As far as being lonely, you are not alone. Even being with the wrong person for you can make you feel even more alone than you were before. It takes time, find patience and never give up hope. Never stop trying.

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NuckingFutz said:

As far as being lonely, you are not alone. Even being with the wrong person for you can make you feel even more alone than you were before. It takes time, find patience and never give up hope. Never stop trying.

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Could not have said it better. Being with the wrong person almost makes you worse off IMPO.

Thanks agree with you all. I at times do volunteering.I would love to volunteer at the animal shelter near me.But i can't get there.I take public transportation.No bus go's near the animal shelter.