[trippinmickey]

I miss my friend alot .Ive been with my wife for 23years in that all that time I only was with her in life besides one person. I melt her in bipolar groups .At the time my bipolar was at it worst and we just clicked .She would come over my house and hang out with me and my wife she would offer me something my wife couldn't a understanding of what its like to be bipolar so it was working well for all 3 of us .But she wonted more from me and at the time my wife wont less my wife was under alot of preasure from her mom ,dad ect, to push me way because they didn't understand how a hard work respondable person can become so sick over night .My wife would do things like get up from the bedroom where the 3 of us were hanging (yes there was some of that going on)and say shes taking the kids to the mall to give us time to be alone and close the bedroom door ? Ltter on CYS made me leave my home(her mom had some say in it ) because they thought I was to sick to be around my kids so I moved in with my friends .A year and ahalf latter I moved back with my wife and kids as I got better my friend always knew that was my long term goal. Yes I love them both is that so wrong ? But I had to choice I had to pick one of them and that was my wife(Who has always been my best frined and only lover) but i still have a emptyness where my friend use to be .Know matter what I did i seem to hurt one of them. ( I stop all sex or any close feelings for a year with both of them so not to hurt the other or keep me from having to lie becouse i was always up front with both of them about my feeling for the other ) So its been 6 month and I have not spoken to her yet I know it for the best to let her move on but I miss her.