[Razzleberry]

A huge fight that started over something as stupid as COOKING GREASE that ended in him basically not speaking to me for the rest of the night, and he is now in bed asleep. And I'm stuck with the couch. Again.

I just can't handle this right now. Right when I really need him the most he has to go and pull this crap on me again. I'm sick of this.

It was so stupid. And yes I got a little *****y, but that doesn't allow him to take it this far.

I specifically, loudly, CLEARLY asked him yesterday to pick up our daughter from daycare as soon as possible after he got off work. I even left him a note this morning. I also asked him to make dinner tonight, I said I didn't care what just figure something out.

Today was our deadline to get all the tax returns in to the first part, so they have a week to get everything processed and fixed and signed and all that. I thought I might be there late.

I actually finished work earlier than I thought, so I got home about 6:00. Funny thing...nobody else was home. I went to get my daughter, who was still at daycare. I came home and made dinner.

Hubby finally walked in the door around 6:45. He was scheduled off work at 5:00. We live 10 minutes from work. You could walk there in 30 minutes...

So...anyway...I was making some turkey sausage, and I was trying to find something drain the grease off into (for low fat turkey crap it sure had a lot of grease!). I couldn't find something to put it in, and he said "what are you looking for" and I just kinda snapped at him and said "just leave me alone".

Ok, yes, I snapped at him. There, I was wrong, he was right, okay!!! It's grease. It's not the end of the world.

He went upstairs for a while, finally came down to eat, but didn't say a word to me. Had that "look" that I knew he was pissed at me.

I said I was sorry for snapping at him, and that I was just under a lot of stress right now and I couldn't handle it all. He just said "whatever". And was still mad.

And then after dinner he went upstairs and sat on the computer all night. With the door locked. I got our daughter ready for bed and put her down then went to watch Biggest Loser (Go Ali!) and still...not a word from him.

I came up to tell him that two girls made it in the finals (woo hoo) and he's in bed. Pretending to be asleep. But not asleep. I can tell. He just won't talk to me.

I am so.....AAAAAAARRRGGHHH right now I just want to explode. I can't take this from him. He just doesn't get it. It's not just work stress, I am seriously NOT OKAY I friggin wanted to kill myself the other day and he still wants to pick a fight over GREASE??

I know I'm hard to live with. My mood swings are crazy. One minute I want to rip his head off and the next I'm crying and beating myself up and the next minute I'm blaming all my problems on him. I know, I know...I should be happy he's still around after all the crap I've put him thru.

But not now. I just can't take this. Why can't he just leave it alone and give me a break.

[Kiya]

=(
((((((((((razz)))))))))

[Dancer_in_the_light]

He's definitely over-reacting, but then again, so are you. Did you ask why he was late? I mean, things can come up last minute that will keep a person.

What tone did you apologize in? If it was more angry or defensive, then he probably didn't believe you. Or maybe he thought that you weren't really apologizing, but making an excuse.

Do you think that maybe he's acting like this for the same reason that you snapped at him? Maybe something is going on that has him stressed too. Maybe the situation of your marriage is wearing on him and he feels the need to run. It's not your fault that you have these problems, but that doesn't mean he can be wonderful and understanding all the time. A person can be worn down by life, and need to get away.

Locking himself away wasn't the proper way to handle it, in any situation. But maybe he was afraid of what he'd say or do under the stress. Maybe he just wanted to avoid an argument, because he knew you'd be angry that he was late.

Why are you on the couch? Did he tell you not to come to bed? If not, climb in. There's no reason not too, and it may just be nice. No matter how angry my husband and I are at each other (we have both pulled the "Go away I'm sleeping" routine) neither of us expect the other to sleep anywhere but the bed. I mean, that's just silly.

Try this: Leave him a note for when he leaves. Don't say, "I'm sorry," or "I was stressed and you didn't deserve that." Simply say, "I love you. Be safe." If you go to apologize again, don't explain your actions. Don't make excuses or anything. Just say that your sorry, you love him, and he didn't deserve to be yelled at. Leave it at that. You're right- under the circumstances your actions are understandable. But apologizing isn't about making the other person understand you. It's just saying that you'll try to keep it from happening again.

(((((Razz)))))

Hope that helps.

[Razzleberry]

I slept on the couch because he was taking up the whole bed and I didn't want to wake him up to make him move over. I had no room.

And to make matters worse...I couldn't get to sleep, so I turned the TV on.

It was the Friends episode where Monica & Chandler get engaged. It was right at that point where Monica has all the candles lit and she gets down on a knee and all that and then he says all that nice stuff..

I just started balling. I'll never have that. Yes I know TV is not reality but I will never know what it's like for someone to actually want to marry me. I'll never be proposed to. Not even a bad proposal. Nothing.

Basically cried myself to sleep.

Then a few minutes later my daughter woke up. She dropped her doll. I rocked her back to sleep, it was the cutest little moment. She almost never lets me do that, she always wants her daddy. But this time she was fine with me. I actually fell asleep in the chair for a while, but then I put her down and went back downstairs to sleep.

[Doh2007]

I'm so sorry; husbands can be such big stupid jerks sometimes.