[whois333]

I haven't been in a relationship in 6 years. Or dated in the 6 years since. I haven't met ANYONE. I left my daughters' father after 5 years together and she was 2 mo. old. I didnt know it then but I was totally codependent, on top of having anxiety attacks and major depression. I left him for the 'security' of living w/ my parents...BIG MISTAKE. My mom is an emotional and verbal abuser...she was physically abusive when I was younger, until I got taller than her!
I've been on my own now for 1 year, but spending 5 years listening to my mother tell me how to feel and think and how much of a loser I am, I'm so totally afraid to be with anyone again. I don't think I'll know HOW to act/think. I'm afraid of falling back into that same mindset....like if he seems mad, I can't think about anything else....I walk on eggshells just waiting for something bad to happen (hence the anxiety attacks!). I know it wasn't ALL me, my ex has depression and self-image issues and uses pot to deal with it and that was always a big argument with us. Especially after having a baby. Now 6 years later, we've 'reconnected' sexually and he's living with a girlfriend of 2 years where they are both totally unhappy but neither has anywhere to go, she cant support herself,etc. He was at my house yesterday laying my new tile and he had scratches and bruises all over him and his neck and he finally told me that his girlfriend did it to him...she beats the crap out of him! His mom had told me over a year ago that she'd had to go pick him up twice in the middle of the night because his girlfriend was hitting him and I didnt really believe it, but now I've SEEN it and I'm really freaked out by it...and he's NOT one to hit a woman...he STILL doesn't hit her, he just tries to get her away from him and she chases him down. She literally dragged him out of bed.
So, anyway, he has a lot of major issues right now and I know he wants to leave her and has for a long time, but there is no where for him to go, he has no license, so she drives him to work,etc. So they're both kind of 'dependent' on each other for certain things, but have a terrible relationship.
I know he wants to be with me again, but I've already told him I would want to do counseling and that he needs to get on meds to help w/ his depression,etc. because I don't want to have the same kind of relationship we had before. I just don't feel comfortable with having him just 'move in' with us so he CAN get away from his girlfriend. It's a crappy situation, but I keep thinking that if he would TALK to someone in his family, maybe they would help him, but then again, I'm not him and I can't say what would happen.
So, not only am I trying to become 'codependent no more', I'm STILL worried about HIM and what he's dealing with. I just found out about this yesterday, so I'm still pretty freaked out about it, but it makes me REALLY mad that someone can do that to someone who pays all their bills and has lived with them for 2 years,etc.
Geez, I don't even know what to do, or to just leave it alone.
Any insight anyone can give?