[MattWag]

Hi everyone My name is Matt and I could use some advice.. I have recently got engaged to my girlfriend it all went pretty quick and our wedding is rapidly approaching in august...now all of a sudden she has said she has doubts and wants me to move out to give her time and space to decide if this is what she really wants...I am just worried that I will lose the most important person in my life forever..any advice.

[sabby]

Hi Matt....Welcome to PC

I'm sure hearing that from your fiance was a real kick in the pants and hurt your heart. I'm sorry that happened.

What I think is a good thing is this......if she is having questions, it is far better for her to explore those questions and find the answers now before the wedding takes place. Forcing herself to go through with a wedding when she has questions as to how she really feels would be catamount to a horrible mistake that would have very very difficult ramifications down the road. She might feel trapped, she might lash out, she might up and leave, anything could pop up. Imagine the pain that would be felt at that time!

I know you don't want to loose her.....maybe giving her the space and time she needs to figure out what her heart truly feels and what her heart truly wants will bring you both closer together. I think there is a 50/50 chance here of it going either way. She may also decide that marriage to you at this point is not what she wants. That doesn't necessarily mean that it couldn't happen later on

I give her credit for having the courage to speak up now...rather than later. If she has always been a trustworthy person and you have never doubted what she has expressed before about her feelings....don't doubt her now.....she is telling you she needs some time and space...go with it!

Wishing you both well and hoping everything works out well!


sabby

[TaintedGoth1]

Do you think maybe she's getting cold feet? That's a possibility.

I say give her time. I agree with what sabby said as well...hopefully things will work out alright.

[bebop]

it is better to find out now rather than after a wedding. I am sorry you are going thru this but you have to see it from a different point of view hon. good luck.

[Perna]

Hi, Matt, welcome to PsychCentral. You recently got engaged and found someplace not booked to have the wedding in August? That is fast. How long have you two been together? My husband and I got engaged Memorial Day and married in late September after having been together 5 years. It was hard to get all the wedding stuff planned.

I see your avatar shows a couple good looking young boys :-) Are they your children? I don't know what your situation is like; have you no idea at all why your fiance is suddenly feeling pressured?

Is your finance living in your space or you in hers or what is your living situation? It can be hard and take time to adjust to other people in our lives and to suddenly be making it permanent; especially if either of you had a previous relationship that might not have been good or ended well, that could take some extra time.

In the 5 years my husband and I were together before we married; most of the time we lived in the same apartment complex, directly across the parking lot from one another :-) I actually lived in his apartment unless he was out of town but had my own and we entertained my parents there :-) and my cat lived there, etc. Can you afford a house or an apartment near where you all are living now? That might make you feel a bit better and still keep the door open to continuing the relationship.