My Husband Family Problems is runing Our Marriage.

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i know in one of my threads i said i was going to seperate from my husband of 2 years but we decided to make the marriage work. So we are together. We've been through alot from the beginning of our marriage and after 2 years things have finally calmed us both down. But stress was still there. My husband has promised me after he came back from his trip that when he comes back he would want to make the marriage work because we both wanted too and had decided to make it work. My husband is more involved in his mom personal life and problems that's making me worried on what my marriage is actually based on. his worryness from his mom is getting me stressed out and i have talked to my husband about this matter yesterday because now we have an open and honest communication. he said the reason why he's so worried is that his mom does not have anyone to support her and that he was the only that has been there in supporting his mom and that he was the one that was always there for her. i told my husband that i know that she has problems with her sister in law and i'm very well understanding because of that she needs someone to talk too that's fine you can call anytime and i'm not stopping him for doing that. That's his mom and he has every right to be worried. My husband dad has issue's of his own but he dont talk to much i'm not worried about him to much. And his mother's problems has already entered our marriage. And its making me feel neglacted because he cares more of her problems then ours. We both went through hell as far as finicial, health and alot of other stuff I dont need for him to bring his familys problems in our home. I told my husband she is alot older and at some point of time she's gonna have to learn how to deal with taking matters into her own hands and stop depending on him too much. I dont hate her. I love my mother in law, I dont need my own husband to be babying his mom for problems that she has with her sister in law. We've got other stuff to be worried about. I'm seeing stuff with my own eye's on how weak my husband is becoming he has a full time job, after dinner he falls asleep in 5 mintues, were barely having sex anymore, ( i think its been 10 months now) he's a heavy smoker, and last night he argue's with me on why i'm smoking again and drinking. I want to get him away for about a couple of months from his mom so she dont have to much control of him until he picks himself back up and I think i have a right to defend my marriage. her problems already entered our life. his mom is already stressed out with her sister in law but i'm sick of seeing my husband getting weak of her problems. any advice would do on how to handel the situation. please i want to make my marriage work. i want her away for about a couple of months. she does not know half of the problems that he and I had i dont need anymore problems comming from her.

That is very kind of your husband to take such an active interest in his mother's health and happiness. I see what you mean, though, I think if I were in your position, I would feel neglected as well.

But there's not much you can do about his actions, if he wants to help his mother then he will. You can make it clear to him what you want out of the marriage, and if he gets mad at you for telling him what you want, then he is a loser. Oops, did I actually type that? Oh well. My backspace key isn't working right now, so I have to leave it.

My mother in law's sister in law has mental issue's. crazy women that's in her late 50's. and cant respect anyone around her and has had issues with her in the past. we lived at his parents for about a couple of months and on 2 several occasions has dragged me in their lives as well.

I would suggest a marriage counselor.