Marriage problems my fault

I am so lost and hurt right now! I've been diagnosed BPD. My hubby and I were dating when I was diagnosed. He was with me through my week long hospitalization. He was so suportive, so loving, so caring. We got married in May and everything had been going well. I lost the fight the other day and cut again. I cut Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. For about the last week my husband has been pulling away from me. He was suportive, but as the week has worn on he's started just ignoring me. He doesn't say he loves me anymore. I told him last night that I thought our marriage was going down the toliet. Now he is trying to get me to call off my trip I have planned for the weekend (I would love to, but I have several people counting on me to go). I asked him today if he thought our marriage is in trouble. He said yes. I asked him if it was because I was sick, He said yes. I don't know what to do! I'm starting therapy today, but I know it will take a while to start getting better. Any thoughts or suggestions? Anyone been here and made it through ok? I love my husband more the anything, and I don't want to lose him. I just don't know what to do.
Thanks for reading my book.

Helpless

You are in a tough situation for sure. He has been supportive, but sometimes even supportive comes to an overload point. It's kinda like your cutting....something is building up inside to cause that releast. It sounds like your husband's had the stress of the relationship building up inside without anyway to release it. His only protection is to back away to take care of himself.

You are starting therapy....this is very positive......it sounds like what he needs is to see that you are doing something to make the needed changes.....maybe he wants you to stay home this & see how you are doing. It sounds like he needs to see some indication that you are willing to work on your problems & not just sit back & let them happen.

I think if it were me, I would really start focusing on the problems of the ME.....take them seriously & make sure that he sees this positive change in you. When we love someone & don't want to lose them, sometimes we have to make sure we work on the things that are a problem. It would also be a good thing to get couples therapy....so it gives you both a safe forum to talk things over in so the marriage can be worked out rather than loosing it.

Just some thoughts & suggestions,
Debbie

Debbie-
Thanks for your insight. He seemed to really hear some of the things I said last night and isn't getting mad at me as easily today. I thought a lot last night and today on how my actions are effecting our marriage. I decided that i need to get better for me and that will help us a lot. He did relieze today that he has been pulling away from me. When I get home from therapy tonight we are going to sit down and talk about how to deal with things between now ans when things get better with the therapy.
Helpless

That sounds wonderful that you are going to sit down & communicate with each other about the important things in your marriage.

Just make sure that the plan is followed through with & that you do sit down & talk it over. Sometimes our good intensions get passed by because something else comes up...that has happened all too many times to me.

Without communication, a marriage can't exist.....I am glad to hear your plans,
Debbie

We have, far to many times, allowed our marriage to fall to the wayside because of kids, or other reasons that aren't nearly as important as us. We've only been married four months and I feel like I've put way to much ahead of our marriage already. One of the things I'm going to work on in and out of therapy is putting my priorities straight.
Thanks again for your thoughts. It helps greatly to have someone outside the situation give feedback.

Helpless

Good luck.....working at marriage & setting priorities is the only thing that can help it survive..glad I could provide some feedback. I know how hard marriage is.

Take care,
Debbie