[your_ragdoll]

I have conflicting issues with sex that I think stem from my upbringing. I feel dirty and wrong after sex, even though it's with someone I love. any ideas on how to overcome this issue?

[x_BabyG_x]

The only thing I can suggest is to keep reminding yourself that sex is a completely natural thing and you shouldnt feel dirty afterwards especially if its someone you love

babyg xXx

[Rhapsody]

I have to agree that you will need to remind yourself that sex with a loved one is not dirty........ as this is more of a mind over matter issue - and it will take some time for your mind to be retrained on its thinking of love and love making.

[salukigirl]

I think issues that stem that deep usually can't be "fixed" just by your own will power. And if it can, it takes much longer. I think that therapy is probably the best way to deal with some of those issues. It gives you an outsiders perspective. You can trust that theyre not just telling you things because they think you want to hear them.

I know that up until very recently I have had problems with anything past missionary. Everything else just reminded me of my ex who used to force me to do them. I left him almost 3 years ago and still have trouble having sex in general. Im in therapy now and think it has helped me be much more open to ideas about sex. Its taught me that sex isn't dirty (isn't supposed to be at least).

Even online forums like this can help you. There is a sexuality forum on here that can help you work out some of these issues. I think if you learn to be more comfortable with your body then the sex thing will fall into place. I think it probably goes a little deeper than just sex, it probably stems to deeper body issues. It takes some time to get over but the people here, and hopefully having a support system in your life, will help you a lot.

The fact that you came here to ask that shows a lot that youre past the biggest hump. Learning that its a problem is a great step. A lot of people never work up the courage to ask for help. So, if you ask me, I think youre already on your way

[tat2doc]

This is just my opinion but I think you need to figure out just what in your upbringing makes you feel the way you do, and why. Until you pinpoint it and deal with it, you'll never get past it...

Good luck though...

[TaintedGoth1]

Therapy...get therapy.

I'm a survivor of sexual abuse and feeling this way about sex is very common...working with a therapist will help you with these feelings.

Hang in there.

[gibbo101]

I feel real dirty too after sex, but i also sleep with someone every now and again (always alcohol involved!!). Not sure why i do this.