Unstable guy says he loves me?

I recently started talking to a guy on a forum very similar to this. He is a victim of abuse and seemed pretty lonely so i offered him someone to talk to. I was never encouraging or flirtatious or anything- he didn't even know my real name. However, he hasn't been shown kindness by many people and he has become very dependant on me. He says he loves me. I am sure this is all just part of transference and I tried to discourage it and tell him it wasn't true but he seems to be just keener. He isn't being cruel to me or anything but i feel very pressured to say it back because he says he will be empty otherwise. advice?

Don't tell him that. How in the world can you fall in love without seeing and being with a person?

Don't fall for the lines. you are right about him being unstable.

Yes i know, i think 'falling in love' over the internet is a load of %#@&#!. yes he is unstable in the sense that he is depressed and has never had psychotherapy about his abuse as a child. but i feel like he just needs to think someone cares for the time being. it is ridiculous but i just feel so pressured to say it for his safety. (btw, i have no feelings whatsoever for him)

did he say "in love" or just love? reason I am asking I have alot of people online tell me they love me. not romantic kind of love but friend kind of love. just a thought. good luck hon

No he definitely has made his 'feelings' for me clear. I just think i may aswell lie and let him get on with it instead of upset an unstable guy and risk him being irrational?

Ok,
Do what you think he wants you to. I just hope it dosen''t turn into a
stalking situation or he becomes way too needy for you. Just be careful.

The net can be a crazy place with all kinds of strange people.
I know there are a lot of needy and lonely people out there and I feel for them. I am a people person and I like to help others. We are the ones that get "stuck" because it is our nature to not want to hurt someone.

Have a great day,

Thanks for your advice 50guy, i think you are right and i should do what he wants me to. let's just hope it doesn't become too needy

OH, Hellishlygood,
I don't think 50guy meant that literally (or maybe he did!), but if you give in to this guy and encourage him, continue responding even in kindness, he is going to continue to profess his feelings for you.
You have stated you have no feelings for him, that his neediness makes you feel pressured and uncomfortable! If he doesn't still know your real name, or hopefully, your home email, then you should cease contact with him at the forum he visits. If he is emailing you directly now, then I suggest an honest statement to him that you choose not to communicate further. Then if he continues contacting you, you should block him. Better this, than ending up with him on your doorstep or stalking you either on the 'net or in person.
Patty

yah. erica, if u give him what he wants, hes jsut gona keep taking. he wont realise your giving him affection because he wants it. in reality, if you give him what he wants, he wont get better, and it will put you in a bad position. you cant encourage transference.

Wow, he sounds like a very sad man. And while I am sorry for him, I think that it could be dangerous to encourage him in anyway. I think that I’d tell him that you don’t feel comfortable with the turn your friendship has taken and would prefer to be left alone.

For, the record.....I think she had her mind already made up to do what he wanted, which is say the words. I was just hoping she could see through my vailed attempt at being sarcastic. I learn everyday. I shouldn't have been so off handed with that remark.

I agree with you, 50guy...I think she had already made up her mind!
Patty

I think you gotta do what feels best for you. To do otherwise would not be in your best interests. If that means telling him how you really feel, so be it. If you enjoy the friendship, then keep it as such.

No i didn't say it 50guy. I told him to back off. I hadn't made up my mind at all. And yes I noticed you were being sarcastic, I was being sarcastic back.

Yikes! You mean you caught it and I didn't????

what a mox I am! LOL

Good on you for not saying it. I am glad you didn't get his hopes up and told him to back off.

haha yep sorry sarcasm is hard to detect online :P Yeah he leaves me alone now so all is good