[Junerain]

my brother says I 'run away..' to therapy groups and that I should not be thinking about my thoughts or feelings, or go to church. Psychiatry has been studied and we know you need to talk about what you're going through.

[Kayleigh]

You're absolutly right! I don't know why your brother would say something that mean! Getting help is NOT running away. If you don't think about your thoughts of feelings, then I don't think that you're staying true to yourself! It's just not healthy! If you go to therapy because you really really need it, or even if you just need someone to talk to sometimes, that's totally cool. Your brother sounds a little ignorant to me, I don't know, I could be wrong, I don't know him. But that was something really mean that he said. I'd ignore it as much as you can, and keep doing what you're doing. and if you're ever having a down day, you can always remember that at least at the end of the day you're not as mean as your brother! (He might very well be a nice guy who just said something kinda mean, I dunno, and I'm not trying to offend you or anything) So, just try to ignore him for now. I'm on your side totally on this one!

[kimmydawn]

it would seem to me that getting therapy is confronting problems/issues head on? I think brother is confused...running away would be not acknowledging problems and not getting help. whew.

Be safe and good luck

Kimmydawn

[galadriel]

I wonder what your brother is saying you are running away from. Maybe he feels you are runing away from doing things at home or for the family. It is a confusing phrase without a context.

In regards to running away from how you feel, well getting help and talking things through is not running away, although even in therapy groups and so on hte really troubles you may have maybe pushed aside by you and so not tackled. But at least you are looking for help if you need it.

But I also wonder ho much you do think about your thought and feelings, maybe your brother feels you think too much about them and not so much about whatever you are running away from, your family or something I do not know.

I would not say you brother is mean but I do think he is seeing things differently from you. Firstly I do not know what he is saying you are running away from. Secondly remember he is on the outside looking in at you, you are on the inside looking out and so you will both have very different persepectives.

Ultimately are you runing away from how you feel, maybe not but perhaps he feels you are running away from issues to do with your family and that you are not thinking about family as much as you should taking refuge more inside yourself with whatever problems you have. I dont know you or your brother but maybe this is it. Talking about feelings is good and it helps but if it seems to take over your whole life then that can be unhelpful to others close to you who may feel shut out in someway.

Life is hard and sometimes about balancing so many things, like juggling lots of balls in the air.

[SeptemberMorn]

It's exactly the opposite! "Running away" is not dealing with your problems and feelings, it's not thinking about them. You're not running away. You're confronting the problems. Your brother seems to be confused about the facts. Don't listen to him.

[ktp]

(((Junerain)))

Don't listen to your brother. It's hard when those close to you can't muster enough sense to support us in the things we feel we need. You have to put yourself first, no matter what anyone else says. I'm glad you're taking care of you!

Hugs,
Kimberly.

[Wants2Fly]

Hello Junerain -- Don't get me started on the subject of "brothers." Oh, brother. Of course, as pointed out, we can't have all the details of what's going on. But as a rule of thumb, the definition of going to therapy would be confronting one's thoughts and feelings and "not thinking about them" is denial and running away.

As for not going to church -- people have been comfort from religion and spirituality for thousands of years. What does your brother suggest you do? Go the movies? To hear a rock band? And that's more important than what? Spending time with your Lord?

It can be hard to confront family members, esp. males whose egos get so bound up in being right. One T. that I briefly saw said she had several sayings that she told all her clients and one of them was, "Just because someone says it doesn't mean it's true." Can be very challenging to apply, but good rule of thumb.

[nothemama8]

Junerain, it sounds like your brother is the one running away, therapy has helped many for many years.
Maybe he's afraid you'll become stronger and not need his support.